Ball2Disc - The Price of Love
by BeeJay Shadowlady
Summary: There's one thing that unites all kind of people: a moment when they realize that somethings's missing. And no matter how rich or happy each person may be, there's no exception. And sooner or later, everybody notices what's missing. Some need just a couple of weeks to find out. Other people keep searching during their whole life without making the missing thing out.
1. The Fondest Wish

Like every other important event, the change was beginning during one of the unsettled Ankh-Morporkian nights. It began with me waking up and being unoriented for a moment. But then I felt the comforting warmth from my stove, clean sheets underneath and close to me a very slender figure putting both arms around me and snoring quietly.

I blinked and opened my eyes completely. When my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I carefully raised my head and looked towards the window. The sky was full of clouds. Wind was howling around the corners. Rainfall was coming down, passing into snow here and there. In front of my window there was November which was called Ember on Discworld.

The year was coming to an end. Hogswatch, the most important event of Discworld, was getting closer. Hogswatch was very similar to Roundworld's Christmas Eve. Just the date, the last day of the year, was a different one.

I laid back again and took a deep breath. I taxed my brain to find out what had woken me up. But I couldn't say. The only thing I remembered was a chaotic dream making no sense at all. During my dream, I had been walking on some street and suddenly had been dropping off something.

Puzzled, I knit my brows. There had been dreams like that before. I had dreamed a mess, had woken up and had found it very hard to fall asleep again. But I had never found out where those dreams were coming from. They were different from the ones I was getting shortly before the outbreak of an illness. Those dreams were full of big and nasty spiders.

Rincewind's arms pulled me tighter to him. Softly, he nestled his nose against my cheek. I couldn't help smiling.

Since we had talked to Mustrum Ridcully, he had spent every night at my house. It was good that I lived quite close to Unseen University. In fact, Rincewind just had to cross Sator Square and Plaza of Broken Moons to come.

The wizard and I enjoyed the togetherness a lot. It was fine not having to sleep alone, fine to feel another body next to the own which would grant warmth and security. Usually, the wizard's presence helped me sleep peacefully. But the best thing was that we enjoyed tenderness yet took our time with everything beyond. In short, we were enjoying life.

Tenderly, I caressed the wizard's hands. Rincewind rubbed the tip of his nose against my cheek again and kissed my earlobe. I could feel his heartbeat underneath my shoulder blades. The even pulsing was soothing me. It took me a while but finally I fell asleep again.

Until the morning, I had forgotten the episode and during the day I didn't remember either. I was to busy. The business before the holidays was the most profitable for the Ankh-Morpork Times. The editorial office was in full swing. William de Worde looked after that everything went like clockwork.

"We have a reputation to keep. We are the only paper of our kind in town," he used to say more then once these days, "A blooper would mean the deathblow to us."

As soon I got home, there was housekeeping to do. I had to do the laundry, do the shopping and keep my house nice and tidy. It wasn't a picnic with the always present dirt on the streets of Ankh-Morpork. But I did my best to handle it, and after a while I found a way to.

The evening time I spent with Rincewind. Usually, he turned up when I was thinking about supper. We took turns to decide. Sometimes the wizard would bring food from Unseen University. The Luggage was coming along with him then. Every now and then, I would cook something for us. But either way it was sure that we would have at least one potato dish.

Unfortunately, the night-time discomposure began to cast a cloud on our contentedness. During the following nights, I woke up again and had much trouble to fall asleep again. In the third night it was so bad I couldn't stay in bed. I carefully freed from Rincewind's arms, put on my bathrobe and lit up a candle. Being wide awake, I decided to busy myself with something.

This year, I had resolved upon giving a Hogswatch present to every citizen of Ankh-Morpork who meant something to me. Concerning the most of my acquaintances, that was quite a piece of cake.

The wizards of Unseen University, for example, were smoking. The only exception was Rincewind. I had made big tobacco pouches of leather for them. They could be attached to the belt and closed by a big button.

Another pouch I had made for Corporal Nobby Nobbs who would never show in public without one of his home-rolled cigarettes. I had bought a box of premium cigars for Commander Samuel Vimes who was smoking as well. The Commander's wife should receive a new wig. A while ago, her best synthetic hairdo had fallen victim to the insatiable appetite of a dragon.

Lord Downey was easy to make a present as well. The president of the Assassins' Guild enjoyed drinking first-class alcoholic beverages. I had found him a couple of those and had designed the labels myself. Lord Downey used to write the name of the beverages backwards on his bottles. So his bar contained bottles labelled with words like Mur, Nig, Yrrehs, Akdow, Yksihw, Rueurqil, Trop, Cinesra or Nixot.

Yet there were some of my acquaintances who were not so easy to present, like Lord Havelock Vetinari, the troll Detritus or Death. The problem with patrician and the Grim Reaper was that I didn't have any idea what to give to them.

The patrician, for all I knew, owned almost everything. Death was an anthropomorphic personification who didn't have to take a bath or eat or sleep. Trolls are made of silicon which is why they can't eat ordinary food. They need ash, limestone, quarz or other minerals to be fed. So far I hadn't found a suitable solution.

I wrapped the last parcel, a new collar for Angua von Überwald before I looked out of the window and sighed. It was still dark out there, and I was sitting here, wide awake like after the first cup of coffee. And I still didn't know why.

A small creaking suggested that Rincewind had turned around while sleeping. I listened if he would wake up as well. Nothing happened.

I picked up my sewing basket. The everyday life of Ankh-Morpork had left its marks on a few blouses and skirts. They had fine cracks I could fix very easy.

Another creaking noise was made in the bedroom. Steps were coming closer. I raised my head and noticed a drowsy wizard standing in front of the table.

Rincewind rubbed his upper arms, scratched his ribcage, tousled the hair on his neck showing underneath the brim of his hat, combed his beard with his fingers and yawned heartily, all more or less at the same time. By now, he trusted in me so much that he was only wearing his knee-long underpants in bed. That was a thing I thought as a big compliment from the timid wizard.

The wizard sat down next to me onto the kitchen bunk. He rubbed his eyes and his face with both hands. As I knew from experience, he was receptive then.

"I couldn't sleep," I said quietly, "Did I wake you up?" Rincewind shook his head and yawned again.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "Did you have a bad dream?"

"I wish I knew myself," I sighed, lowering my sewing work. The wizard looked at me thoughtfully.

"You look pale," he said, touching my forehead and my cheeks, "But you don't seem to be ill." He caressed my hair. I couldn't help smiling.

"I'm not ill. I just can't sleep. That'll pass."

"Are you sure?" Rincewind sounded worried. Smiling, I touched his shoulder and said, "Always has. So don't you worry."

Indeed, the wizard seemed to calm down. He put his chin onto his hands and watched me searching for holes or cracks I might have missed.

"What do you think about a cup of tea?" he asked.

"A cup of tea would be wonderful," I agreed. Rincewind got up and went to the stove.

The question if I wanted a cup of tea was one of the most obvious signs for the fact how much I meant to him by now. Normally, wizards are known to be incredibly unwilling to work. Lift a finger for something that has absolutely nothing to do with magic? Voluntary, of all things? Only if there's no other way, and next time please don't ask again, thank you so very much!

Rincewind, however, didn't find anything against giving me a hand in the kitchen. He wasn't much of a help but he did his best not to cut off his fingers while peeling potatoes. I was grateful for his help.

We were a couple for 9 months now, and during this time the wizard's behaviour had changed. Of course, he was still more than ready to flee at the smallest indication of danger. He was still at his place in the lowest part of society, too. But deep inside of him, there was a certain amount of courage which was showing every time I was concerned. He would have stopped the rain from falling if I had asked him to. There were just a few things he wouldn't do for me.

A few minutes later he handed me a steaming cup. I noticed a small blister from burns on his right thump.

"Thank you so very much," I said and kissed his hand. The wizard smiled, "Cheers." The tea tasted strong and sweet. Rincewind watched me drinking and held on to his own cup.

"That has happened more then once before, hasn't it?" he suddenly asked, "That you can't sleep, I mean." I gave this a short thought before I nodded.

"The last time was last night, wasn't it? I have noticed you turned around a lot," the wizard continued thoughtfully. I nodded again.

"Did you have to work a lot during the last time? Or something like this?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I try to find out why you can't sleep."

"Oh. No, work was just as usual. Pre-holiday business. Nothing special."

The wizard fell silent for a moment and emptied his cup before he suggested going back to bed. I agreed because I had become cold. He arose and put the cups into the sink. I put the sewing basket away and hung the blouse on the back of a chair together with my bathrobe.

The wizard snuggled tight against my back. He pushed my braid aside and kissed my neck. His beard tickled. It took me hard not to giggle. Rincewind pulled me tighter to him and kissed my neck again until I couldn't stifle the laughter anymore.

"Please stop it," I managed to say, "That tickles."

"Does it? Well, that's all new to me," he answered and I could hear a hint of malicious joy in his voice.

"Liar," I told him off softly. Rincewind was always pleased about finding a new sensitive spot on me. I knew how much he enjoyed it to make me laugh by tickling. And he knew I knew about this circumstance. So he knew I wasn't really angry about it.

"Well, if you really do insist, I'll stop it," he agreed, drawling the words, "I almost forgot about your sensitivities." I just murmured and yet couldn't help smiling.

For a while, none of us spoke until Rincewind uttered a thoughtful sound.

"I remember something," he said.

"What?"

"You were talking in your sleep. The night before yesterday it was when I had to use the privy."

"Did you understand what I was saying?" I asked and frowned.

"Not really. I just could understand the word Bea. What's that? Or who's that?"

"Bea is or was a very dear friend to me. It was back then when I... you know... on Roundworld," I sighed. The wizard hummed in a thoughtful way and put an arm around my shoulder.

"I think I know what's wrong with you," he declared, "I think you're quite simply homesick." That was something I never would have expected to hear. I straightened up and looked at him flabbergasted.

"Homesick?" I repeated, "Are you sure?"

"I am," Rincewind agreed, straightening up himself.

"And what makes you think of this?"

"The way you behave reminds me of the time when I had been travelling around so much," explained the wizard, "There had been times when I couldn't sleep as well. Then, I didn't know why either. I just knew I was missing something. After a while, I realized what it was."

"What?"

"Familiar surroundings. You know, home and shelter and stuff. Things you see day in day out."

I gave this a thought. It was hardly believable. Yet it didn't sound wrong.

"I'm sure you're missing your friends," Rincewind continued, "And your family, I guess."

I tucked up my legs and put my arms around the knees. Then I nodded. Indeed, it had been long ago that I had been thinking of my few friends. Or of my mother, my brothers and sisters. Come to think of it, it had been when I had been living at Mrs Cosmopilite's guesthouse. I had thought of them when I had come to know that returning was impossible. Afterwards, I was ashamed for this.

"I would like to tell them somehow that I'm alright," I confessed hesitatingly, "I would like to tell them that I'm still alive."

The wizard didn't reply. I just heard him laying back again.

"I mean, I can't send a letter to Roundworld," I said, "Or drop a message in a bottle into space or something."

Still, Rincewind didn't reply. I turned around and saw him lying there, his head resting on his arms. His gaze was wandering off.

"Maybe you can," he finally said. I knit my brows.

"What do you mean?"

"I remember when we did something like this," the wizard said.

"You don't mean...?"

"Sending a message from Discworld to Roundworld, that's what I'm talking about."

That was information of great interest. Yet I couldn't imagine how that might have been possible as HEX had declared the way to be shut.

"How?" I asked.

"I don't remember the details," Rincewind confessed and looked at me with his blue eyes, "But Ponder Stibbons may."

"So we can talk to him tomorrow?"

"No, that may be not so easy, I think," the wizard objected.

"Why this?" I wondered, "You said we could talk to Ponder."

"Well, that is true but it might be difficult to talk to him tomorrow," Rincewind acknowledged.

"Will Ponder be busy tomorrow?"

"No, he won't be busy, I'm sure about this," Rincewind said and laughed quietly, "But we have to see him today. Tomorrow might be too late."

Confused, I looked at my clock and saw that Midnight had passed already. Now, I had noticed my error in reasoning as well. I shook my head.

"You're really impossible, you know," I moaned and laid back again. The wizard grinned. I rolled my eyes and couldn't help laughing yet.

"You should have told me where I was wrong," I objected. Rincewind grimaced, acting to be outraged.

"Me and missing such fun? Never ever, my Dear," he whispered, snuggled up close to me and kissed me.

Mercifully, the next day was Octeday, a day equal to Roundworld's Sunday. So the wizard and I could have a good night's rest. After having breakfast we went to Unseen University and straight to the Archchancellor's office. When Rincewind lifted his hand to knock the door trembled. A piece of wood spalled, making me wince and take a step back.

"Don't worry," Rincewind said unimpressed, patting my shoulder, "That was just a crossbow bolt. Ridcully must be bored, I think. He likes to do some aiming then, you know." He knocked. Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully opened the door. His crossbow rested in his hand. When he saw me, his face brightened up.

"Well, hello, Miss BeeJay. So nice to see you," he said and pulled the bolt from the door, "And Rincewind, you're here, too. Good, good. Do come in. Do you feel fine?"

"Yes, thanks, we do," I said. We took a seat.

"Well, what can I do for you?" Mustrum Ridcully asked. Rincewind and I exchanged a glance before I explained my interests to the Archchancellor who frowned and seemed to give this a thought.

"This is a thing I can't decide on my own," he said, "The best thing is if you tell this thing to the entire Council of Wizards, Miss."

I just could give him a nod before the Archchancellor arose and stepped towards the door. He jerked it open and yelled for the Dean who came by quite fast. Mustrum instructed the most portly faculty member to summon the other wizards into the Great Hall. Then we went there together.

All of the wizards gave me a polite and kind greeting. I sat down and began to talk. It resulted in the lively discussion I just had expected. Finally, Ponder Stibbons could convince the other wizards. Firstly, they had managed it once before. And secondly, it was worth a second try.

Together we went to High Energy Magic Building. HEX looked a lot larger than I remembered the thinking machine. There had been developments. In the middle of the pipes I could see a small round window, resembling an eye. When I stepped closer to the thinking machine, the eye turned a little bit. The writing arm trembled, dipping the tip of the quill into the inkpot.

+++ Good Day, Roundworld-Miss. So Nice To See You. I Hope You Are Doing Well?"

"Good Day, HEX," I answered, "Nice to see you, too. I'm fine, thank you."

+++ What Can I Do For You? +++

"I would like to send a message to Roundworld to tell my family and friends that I'm all right. They didn't get any word from me for a long time. They may worry."

The pipes of HEX were rattling for a while before the writing arm stirred again.

+++ Not So Easy To Do, Miss, I Must Confess. But That Can Be Done. +++

I turned around and gave Rincewind a happy look before I asked what HEX needed to send the messages.

+++ Just The Messages You Intend To Send, Miss. I Will Take Care Of The Rest. +++

"Hold it!" Ponder Stibbons piped in, "We can't do that just like that! It costs a pretty penny to send messages!"

"I'm sure I can pay for it," I tried to calm him down, "How much do I owe you for this, HEX?"

+++ That Depends On The Length And On The Number Of Your Messages. +++

A small lid opened a HEX' leading front. I reached inside and took out some sheets of paper and a feather quill.

+++ Write Down Your Messages, Miss. Just Like I Said, I Will Take Care Of The Rest. +++

A few minutes later, I had written down my messages. I wanted to tell my family and my friends that I missed all of them and that I was fine and in good hands. On top of that, I told Bea to contact Claudia, Nicole and some of my other friends and to give them my best regards.

"It's all written down, HEX," I said, "What now?" The lid opened again.

+++ Put Them In Here, Please. +++

I heeded the order and listened for a while to the rattling and clattering and jingling inside of the pipes. Suddenly, the sounds dropped away.

"What happened?" I looked at Ponder Stibbons. The young wizard shrugged.

"HEX seemed to be overloaded," he supposed.

The thinking machine promptly answered, +++ That Is Not Quite Correct. It Just Takes Time To Send The Messages. So Will You Please Give Me Some Time, Thank You So Very Much. +++

It took HEX almost half an hour to send the messages. We, except for Ponder Stibbons, went back into the Great Hall because the Dean suggested to have tea. Finally, the young wizard told us that the messages had been transferred successfully.

"According to HEX the transfer will be 40 AM $," he said. I broke out my purse and put the money on the table.

"We will let you know as soon there are news, Miss," Mustrum Ridcully said when I left. Rincewind walked me out, kissed me good-bye and smiled encouraging.

Days passed without news from HEX. Every evening I asked Rincewind about it, and every evening he answered in the negative. But then he showed up cheerfully. The Luggage scurried behind him and greeted me with a small knock against my knee which made my eyes water.

Grinning, the wizard waved a few sheets of paper. I took them and read the notices from my mother, my sisters, my youngest brother and my friend Beatrice.

All of them were very happy to have word from me and begged me to rewrite soon. My sisters and Bea told me about the members of their families.

I read the sheets over and over again, smiling happily. True cordial relationship has ever been a rare thing to me. I was relieved that no-one had forgotten me in spite of everything. Happily, I embraced the wizard. Rincewind kissed my forehead.

"See?" he said, "I told you it would work."

"Yes, you did," I agreed, smiling. Rincewind returned it and caressed my cheek.

"Come on now, supper time." The wizard unearthed a big pork pie from the Luggage, a big plate of chips, a bottle of red wine, orange juice and a bowl of chocolate pudding with custard. Of course, it pleased Rincewind a lot that I took just a small plateful of the chips. So he gave the most of the pudding to me.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," said Rincewind suddenly. He swallowed and stiffled a belch.

"Ridcully said to ask you if you'd like to come to Hogswatch Dinner."

I was astonished by this. On every Hogswatch Night, Unseen University was having an extra big meal. All the wizards would attend it. Women wouldn't so far, for all I knew.

"How did he get to that idea? I thought women weren't allowed to enter Unseen University just like that?"

"Well, Ridcully respects you, I assume. After all, he has listened to you. Between you and me and the wall, that's really saying something," Rincewind said, "Ridcully has signified that it would be an honour to him if you would attend."

I smiled, "Well, if it would be an honour to him, I can't help but coming."

"You're right about that, my Dear. Besides, it would be my pleasure, you know." The wizard smiled. I got up, went to Rincewind's chair and embraced him.

Of course, this wasn't the first time to fall in love with a man. But I had never met a man like Rincewind. The best thing in him was the fact that he loved me the way I was. Besides, he didn't rush me in everything beyond caressing and kissing.

When we were lying in bed together, I felt his rawboned body close to mine. And for a minute I wished to feel this warmth and safety for all my life


	2. Hogswatch

The month until Hogswatch Eve had passed in no time. Many of my acquaintances, like Death and the Patrician, had asked me to come to Hogswatch Dinner. But I didn't want to cancel the invitation from Unseen University. So I had decided to visit the people during the day and give presents to them. After all, I had managed to get a suitable present to everyone of my acquaintances.

I had found a couple of Roundworld coins from my former German living place when I had been looking my clothes and bags over. I decided to get them manufactured to a chain. This might be a nice present for Lord Havelock Vetinari.

I wanted to give a new box for change to Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler to thank him for the hint where I could find a jeweller to make me the chain for Lord Havelock Vetinari. He had given me the address willingly even though he would cut his own throat doing so, as he had pointed out. He was using this sentence like other people were saying "Good Morning" or "Good Night".

I had heard that the tea-set of Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite had been broken so I wanted to give her a new one.

I had bought a great supply of armour polish for Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson.

I had made some kind of pastry for Sergeant Detritus. They were a couple of big pancakes made of ash, gravel, hackled coal and a lot of water.

Some more baked goods I had made for Foul Ole Ron and the other members of the Canting Crew. But unlike the pancakes for Detritus I had made it with almonds so it would be much more flavoursome. In addition, I had some sandwiches, a bottle of wine and a meat-and-potato-pie for them.

The Librarian was about to get a big bag of peanuts and a couple of new quills.

The present for Death I had found on the day before Hogswatch Night. As far as I remembered, the Grim Reaper had a picture on his desk showing his deceased adopted daughter Ysabell and her late husband Mortimer with their daughter and Death's grand-daughter Susan Sto Helit. It was a good idea to me to give him a new frame for the picture. And of course, I hadn't forgotten to buy a bag of carrots for Death's horse Binky and to make another tobacco-pouch for his manservant Albert.

In the evening before Hogswatch Night I packed the parcels into my dragonskin bag. The wizard and I went early to sleep because I had to get up early. After all, I had a great deal to do.

As soon as the day broke, I carefully rose so I wouldn't wake up Rincewind and crept quietly into the bathroom. I washed myself and put my boots and my best winter's dress on. It was a long dress made of ruby coloured and tightly woven cloth. It came with a hip-long black cape which was edged in thick strands of black chenille fringe. The cape itself was embroidered with small ruby roses.

When I was coming out of the bathroom, I saw the wizard sitting upright in bed.

"Sorry, Dear, I didn't want to wake you up," I said quietly and sat onto the edge of the bed. Rincewind caressed my cheek and my braid and tenderly kissed my lips.

"No harm done, my Dear. Are you coming to Unseen University?" he asked and took my hand, "Dinner will be served at Midnight." I promised to be there on time, caressed his hand and kissed him again before I left.

Fresh snowfall made Ankh-Morpork sparkle. It crunched quietly beneath my boots. The sparkle covered the dirt and filth of the city, making the scenery look almost peaceful.

The first one for me to see was Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler. I assumed that he might be afoot already, and I was right. When I entered Sator Square, the place he used as his office, I could hear him.

"Morning, Mister Dibbler," I said. Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler smiled when he saw me.

"Ah, good morning to you, Miss Meta," he said, "How are you on this bright winter's morning?"

"I'm fine, Mister Dibbler, thank you so very much." I searched my bag and pulled out his present. The vendor looked at it curiously.

"What's this?"

"I wanted to thank you once again for mentioning the jeweller," I said, handing him the parcel, "Happy Hogswatch to you, Mister Dibbler."

The salesman turned the parcel before he opened it. He uttered a surprised "Oh!" and looked at me.

"You shouldn't have done that, Miss. It was my pleasure to be of service to you," he said, "Even if I cut my own throat doing so, as you might know."

Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler swallowed hard. He turned around and went to the next fruit selling booth. He had a short and rather loud discussion with the other vendor. Then he returned with a small bag of apples and oranges in his hand.

"Here you are, Miss," he said, "I've got a little something for you. These are the best goods from that cut-throat over there, far from the usual stuff." He gave me a conspiratorial wink.

"Thank you so very much, Mister Dibbler," I said, smiling.

"It's my Hogswatch present for you, Miss," Dibbler said again, "Even if I cut my own throat doing so."

Next, I went to the Ankh-Morpork City Watch's head quarter at Pseudopolis Yard. Due to this early hour, the only ones I met there were Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain Carrot, Sergeant Detritus and, of course, Corporal Nobby Nobbs.

"Good day, gentlemen," I greeted.

"Miss!" Nobby exclaimed and jumped up, "What a pleasure to see you!" Captain Carrot turned to pull up a chair for me. But Nobby had been faster. He had adjusted the chair and taken off his helmet before Captain Carrot could move a limp.

"How are you, Miss?" he asked, "I hope you're doing well so far?"

"Thank you, Nobby, I can't complain."

"Or is anyone annoying you in any way?" The short watchman knit his brows. I assured him that everything was fine.

"Could we offer you something? Would you like a cup of tea, maybe?" asked Captain Carrot. I nodded. My only breakfast had been an apple so far. A few minutes later Nobby had put a cup of tea and some sandwiches in front of me.

"What brings you here so early, Miss?" asked Samuel Vimes. I finished my tea and started searching my bag.

"Unfortunately, I can't come to your Hogswatch Dinner, Commander Vimes," I said and handed the parcels to the City Watch, "So I wanted to give a present to you and the other watchmen. And I've got one for your honourable wife, too, of course."

During the next quarter of hour, the only sound in the room was the soft rustling from the wrapping paper, followed by gasping.

A deep rumble was coming from Detritus when he cleared his throat.

"Dat was not necessary," he managed to say, "Much trouble was, Miss."

"It wasn't trouble to me, Detritus," I replied, "Ankh-Morpork has given me a very kind and warm welcome, and I'm more than glad to return the favour." I looked at the clock and got ready to leave again.

"Now, wait a minute!" Nobby took hold of my arm and made me sit down again.

"You can't leave just like that," he said, pulled his knapsack from a corner and started rummaging it, "It's Hogswatch Night after all. So you can't go without getting something, too."

"He be right," Detritus said. The huge troll turned his back on me. I just could wait for the things to come, and when I left, my bag contained a golden watch from Nobby's knapsack, two diamond teeth from Detritus and a former police identification disc Commander Vimes had given me. The descended Acting-Constable Cuddy had owned it once. The Commander shook hands with me and promised to hand the other parcels to the absent watchmen.

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson seemed to be a bit ashamed of the fact that he didn't have anything for me. He promised to take care of my security, either alone or together with Nobby Nobbs.

Having left the City watch's head quarter, I went to see Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite who was delighted to see me. She insisted to serve a little snack, using the new tea-set. While I was eating she was telling me the news from the city, everything under "the pledge of secrecy", of course. But here in Ankh-Morpork this meant less than nothing. When Mrs Cosmopilite heard something, she might be one of the last persons to hear.

Noon had passed when I left Mrs Cosmopilite and went towards the house of the Assassins' Guild. I was making haste because I wanted to go to some places far from each other. As there were the Patrician's Palace and the Misbegot Bridge, the home of the Canting Crew.

"HELLO," someone said suddenly next to me. I winced and turned around. Next to me, a dark long cloak appeared.

"Oh, hello, Death," I said.

"HOW ARE YOU?"

"I'm fine, thank you. But I'm in a rush right now."

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

I explained to him about my Hogswatch Dinner invitation from Unseen University.

"I'm on my way to give Hogswatch presents to the people I've come to know in town. Right now, I'm going to see Lord Downey and the Patrician."

"I CAN GIVE YOU A RIDE, IF YOU LIKE." I considered Death's offer and agreed.

Death led me through a couple of street to his horse Binky. The prettiest and magnificent steed I ever had seen was snow-white, with big, friendly looking eyes and a proud posture. On his back sat a small black creature I took for a bird at first. But then I saw it was the small skeleton of a rat, dressed in a black cloak, just like Death himself, and was carrying a small scythe, too. The little creature straightened up and squeaked.

"Oh! Who's that?" I wondered.

"THIS IS THE DEATH OF RATS," the Grim Reaper said. The small skeleton extended a bony paw I carefully took and shook. Then I looked at Death and said, "I always thought you'd take care of every death yourself?"

"WELL, EVEN I HAVE TO DELEGATE SOMETIMES," Death said. The Death of Rats nodded, uttering another insistent "SQUEAK". The Grim Reaper helped me climbing onto Binky. I held onto the mane, and Binky went forward. As fast as the wind we reached the Assassins' Guild's house. Death helped me down and told me he'd wait for me.

The president of the Assassins' Guild served me a cup of tea and gave me a small crossbow with ammunition.

"Human Life is a precious thing. It needs to be protected," Lord Downey pointed out. I didn't doubt this. If anyone would know about a life's value of in Ankh-Morpork, it would be an assassin.

The patrician gave me a thin smile when he saw my present. Yet I wasn't disappointed. Lord Vetinari was a cool-minded and straightforward pragmatist for all I knew so I didn't expect further reaction. He was giving me the honour of a light snack and conversation.

Finally, I went to see the Canting Crew. I could hear them from afar. It wasn't only because of Coffin Henry but because of the chant. Four different voices tried to find a common melody and lyrics. But Henry's chesty cough and words like "Bugrit!" and "Millennium Hand and Shrimp", given by Foul Ole Ron, interfered a bit.

The beggars were pleased to see me and the food parcel. Henry even tried very hard not to cough in front of me.

At last, I asked Death to bring me to Unseen University. Binky landed smoothly in front of the gate. I slipped down from his back and raised my sight to face Death.

"Thank you, Death."

"DON'T MENTION IT. I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE A HAPPY HOGSWATCH."

"So do I." I searched my bag for the parcels for Death, Binky and Albert. Then I looked at the small rat skeleton.

"I'm afraid I don't have anything for you now," I said, "I mean, I didn't know that I would meet you." The Death of Rats shrugged, squeaked and waved a paw. He looked at the carrots for Binky and twitched his whiskers.

The Grim Reaper turned the parcels and seemed to be loss for words. Then he straightened his back and put his hand on my shoulder.

"THANK YOU, BARBARA META," he said.

"You're very welcome, Death," I said, "I wouldn't have known what to do without your help." Carefully, I lifted my hand and looked at Death's horse.

"May I?" I asked. The horse snorted, snuggled its muzzle against my palm and allowed me to caress it.

The Grim Reaper gave me a nod, pulled Binky's reins and rode away. After a few steps Binky's hooves lifted from the ground. Horse and horseman rode towards the sky. I watched them disappear between the clouds when I felt two hands on my shoulders and turned around. Rincewind stood in front of me, smiling broadly.

"Hello," he said. I looked at him and noticed a change in him. To celebrate Hogswatch, Rincewind had washed his hair and even had combed his beard.

"I hope I'm on time," I said, smiling. The wizard nodded. I looked into his blue eyes, and suddenly a thought crossed my mind. I had managed to make a present to each of my acquaintances or friends – with only one exception. A blush of shame crept into my face.

"What is it?" asked the wizard and knit his brows. Hesitating, I told him and bowed my head. I expected Rincewind to rant and rave or to be sulky about this. He had always been like that when I had forgotten about something.

Yet, no such thing happened. The wizard put his index finger underneath my chin and lifted it up so I had to look at him. He gave me tender yet slightly strange kiss.

"You don't bother?" I wondered. Knowingly, the wizard smiled and kissed me again.

"Let's go inside," he said, "Otherwise, we might get no seat at the table." I gave him a disbelieving glance which made him grin.

"You'll see," he added, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Rincewind was right. I remembered the breakfast and the teatime I had spent in Unseen University, but these meals couldn't hold a candle to the Hogswatch Dinner at all.

This dinner was much richer than all the ones before. Altogether, there were seven courses, coffee not included. There were dishes like differently prepared eggs, fruits, fish, roasted meat, different kind of cakes and puddings.

The wizards went around the table to help themselves more than once from every dish. But every wizard had his own tempo to eat. The Dean, e. g., gobbled down five different dishes within half an hour. Ridcully, however, solely attended to the fish dishes during the same time. I myself took a bite of every dish which appealed to me. Given the amount of food, that was quite a lot.

During each course, the wizards got up to take a small stroll or to make enough room for the next course. Shortly before dessert was served, Rincewind led me into a corner.

"Say, what do you think about you and me settling up a bit?" he asked sotto voce.

"You're talking about leaving right here and now? Why?"

"I was thinking about taking some dessert and something to drink and going to your place." Rincewind smiled, and I gave the other wizards a glance. They were pacing the room in long strides and didn't seem to notice us.

"I think, they seem to be quite busy right with themselves," Rincewind said as his gaze followed mine, "I really doubt that they might find us gone." He gave me a smile which I couldn't help returning.

"I stand corrected," I said. We went into the kitchen to fetch some pudding and pie and a bottle of wine. Then we went to my house.

The wizard and I took our time with the dessert. We ate and drank with pleasure, and all the time I could feel a change. There was something in Rincewind's eyes. They were shining almost as bright as sapphires.

Suddenly, he stood up, bent across the table and kissed me. This kiss revealed the most profound change. It was much more tender and intensive then before. The touch of his lips made me shiver.

"You know, it's not that bad that you don't have a present for me," whispered the wizard and sat down next to me.

"It really doesn't bother you, does it? I mean, it's not okay that you're the only one I didn't buy a present for."

"You don't have to give much to make me a happy man, Barbara," was the mysterious reply, "Two little words would do."

I looked at him in complete lack of comprehension. Smiling, the wizard reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver chain with a little black shimmering ball attached to it. It seemed to be made of glass. Yet it felt solid as metal when I touched it.

"This is beautiful," I said, "What is it?"

"A ball of denatured Octiron," the wizard explained, "Octiron is a kind of magic metal." I eyed the little ball in scepticism and shyness.

"You know, there is still a lot of shimmer in denatured Octiron, but no magic anymore. So you can wear this chain without care. It's not like your dress might run away suddenly." Rincewind laughed.

"Oh me, oh my... I... I can't... Rincewind, I can't accept this." I looked at the wizard and wanted to give it back to him. But he put it back into my palm and closed my hand.

"Why, of course you can," he said calmly.

"It's much too valuable for me to wear it," I answered him back. But I sounded less secure.

"No, it's not, and I ask you to accept it as a token of my esteem. I want you to wear it as a present for our... what's the word..." Rincewind knit his brows, thinking hard.

"An engagement present," he finished.

I stared at the wizard who took a deep breath, kissed me and put his hands onto my shoulders. His long fingers were shaking slightly. He was nervous and thoughtful all the same. I had never seen him like that before.

"I have to ask you something very important, Miss Barbara. Or I have to tell you something important, that's more like it," he said, "I've been thinking about it for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that... er..." He took a deep breath again before he said, "I have fallen in love with you, Miss Barbara Meta. I love you."

This sentence came out like a cork. Then the words were flowing out of his mouth.

"I love you for taking me the way I am, with all of my failures. I love you for making me feel good when I smell you first in the morning. I love you for trusting in me. I love you for improving my magic. I love you for giving me goose-pimples with every kiss. I love you for never laughing or sneering at me. And I love you for making me feel needed without feeling pushed," the wizard said without drawing one single breath.

I was astonished. This was the first time he had said so much at once. I wanted to say something when the tall wizard raised his hand. He didn't seem to have finished.

"I always want to be with you," Rincewind continued quietly and looked at me, "Barbara, you're just the... the most wonderful woman with... with a ticklish neck I know. I don't want to loose you again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Barbara." He fell silent for a moment and added, "If you can take a notorious coward like me, that is."

Sometimes, words are not enough to make feelings clear. This was one of those moments. I pulled the wizard tighter towards me and gave him a long and very tender kiss.

"You know, you're a really special guy," I whispered. Rincewind gave me tender grin and caressed my bare back.

After a million years or so full of tender kisses, we had decided to talk on in a more comfortable place. So we had taken off our clothes, very slowly and bit by bit of course. Sometimes, Rincewind had hesitated for one or two seconds. Just like the moment when he had taken off even his hat. It hung on the bedpost at the front end of the bed.

The few candles which had lit the room had gone out long ago. The wizard had snuggled up close to my belly. It was the first time I felt him that close to me.

"Well, I have been told that several times before," he whispered back, "But no one had put it in such a nice way you did." I put my hands into his soft and smooth auburn hair, pulled him near and kissed his forehead, the cheeks, the tip of his nose and his lips.

Finally, the first morning of the New Year started. Rincewind and I had spent almost 4 hours in bed. We had shared tenderness in many ways except of one.

Of course, sex was nothing new to me, and I supposed that Rincewind might not be a dark horse concerning this, too. But we didn't feel like hurry in that point. We felt that sex could wait. Right here and now, the only important thing to us was to feel each other's presence and to caress each other. I was astonished about how tenderly Rincewind was able to be.

"Do you have an idea already about how this will work?" I suddenly wondered. Of course, I didn't intend to change the mood. Yet I couldn't help wondering. Ridcully hadn't been too pleased about Rincewind telling him to have feelings for me. I didn't dare to think about what he might say about this step? This would take us really close to a marriage.

"Not yet," Rincewind answered and caressed my hair, "But I think we have lots of time to enjoy this and find a useful solution, don't we?"

I looked into his blue eyes and nodded. Rincewind was right. Besides, he had taken good care of me. And he had always known what he had been talking about. So I couldn't see why he should make a change right now.


	3. Rincewind's Idea

Again, a few months passed. Spring was coming to Ankh-Morpork again. The city's smell varied a bit. And the relationship between Rincewind and me became more and more intensive. Since this special Hogswatch Dinner, we were sleeping more often in the nude, and I had discovered some very sensitive parts on the wizard's body: his belly and his spine. When I was caressing him there, I could feel his arousal growing stronger. Yet, we didn't rush things.

Then, the night was coming when we reached the highpoint of sensual lust. As usual, we had snuggled close to each other and were trusting only to our sense of touch when I felt the nimble-fingered hands of the wizard touching my bosom.

First, he touched it only with his fingertips, in a very diffident and precautious way. But then, his touch became more confident. He bent across me and kissed me. His lips touched mine before they moved further downwards.

A good and warm and pleasant feeling crept into my belly, and I felt a tingle along my spine. The wizard's touch seemed different to me.

It felt thrilling, it felt more sensuously, and most of all, it felt the right way.

I closed my eyes halfway and let my hands wander across Rincewind's body towards the lower parts of his. Despite of his scars, his skin felt very soft to me.

Just as usual, we took our time to enjoy every touch. When the next morning was dawning, we had made love for the second time.

My eyes were still closed when I put my forehead onto Rincewind's throat and opened my legs very slowly to enjoy every second of the good after-sex-feeling. Rincewind was panting hard. Then he sighed deeply and slid down next to me. He took a deep breath, put both of his arms around my waist, laid his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. A very pleased smile crept into his face. I put one arm underneath his neck, pulled him as close as possible and put my chin onto his forehead.

Slowly, the rhythm of my heart slowed down again. I dared to open up my eyes again. Dreamily, I watched Dawn entering the room and making the night vanish. I lifted the hand and caressed Rincewind's hair. The wizard uttered a small and very pleased sound.

Here, in the wizard's arms, I felt as happy as never before in my entire life.

"Thank you," I said when I was able to speak again and kissed his forehead.

"For what?" he wondered, raising his head.

"This has been one of the most wonderful events of my life, you know."

The wizard freed himself from my arms and straightened up on his elbows before he looked at me in complete disbelief.

"I can't believe it," he said.

"Well, it is true," I said, "You know, Sex hadn't been a good part of my life so far." Astonished, the wizard shook his head.

"I could never treat someone like you in an uncivil way."

"Most of the men I met could. They weren't as empathetic and considerately as you were. In fact, they were far from it."

Rincewind gave this a very long thought.

"So... everything I did... was right?" he asked. Now it was my turn to look surprised.

"So... you don't have... much experience... with sex, too?" I asked. The wizard shook his head. I gave him a loving smile.

"Everything you did was alright," I said.

"Was it?" Rincewind brightened up.

"It was," I assured him, caressed his cheek and kissed him again.

We stayed in bed until the first rays of sun had lightened up the room entirely. Then Rincewind asked if I wanted tea.

I nodded and watched him getting up, going to the oven, heating water and brewing tea. He added sugar, stirred and brought both cups to me. Carefully, he gave one cup to me, before he went back into the kitchen and fetched a small bowl of milknuts. He handed me the bowl, too, before he came back to bed.

Since Discworld was my home, I had become very fond of milknuts. Their taste is rather similar to cashew nuts, hazelnuts and walnuts. We drank and ate slowly and let our eyes wander off.

"I wished we could do that more often," I said quietly. The wizard's smile indicated that he shared this wish.

"If I had it my way, I'd love to share every morning with you. But there's still one big problem," he said. I didn't have to think to know what he meant.

Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully wouldn't cope with a wedding between Rincewind and me. After all, we had said that we didn't want to marry. Besides, a wizard still wasn't allowed to commit himself to a woman.

"Ridcully has grudgingly given into our love," I remembered, "But I really doubt that he will turn a blind eye on this."

"He certainly won't," the wizard sighed, drinking from his tea, "Well, I can understand him partly." It stroke me odd to hear him say this.

"What do you mean, you can understand him partly?"

"You know, a wizard in love is very vulnerable to Sourcery. And once Sourcery starts, it will result into Mage Wars. Nothing will unsettle the structure of the Disc as much as that."

"Is it really this bad?" I raised my brows. The wizard nodded and said, "The entire Disc suffers from a battle like this, I can tell you. We have seen it before."

Rincewind told me in short words how he had seen a Mage War once with his own two eyes.

"Take my word for it," he finished his tale, "Ridcully would rather die than allow this again."

For a while, I was loss for words. We were lying close to each other underneath the blanket, drinking tea, eating nuts and cherishing the feeling of togetherness.

Suddenly, I heard a scratching sound and looked at Rincewind. The wizard was scratching his head hard. His hand slid lower to scratch his shoulder and the shoulder blades as well. His eyes were half-closed. For a moment, I wondered what might be wrong with him. Then it came to me that he was thinking. So I waited.

"There might be a way," the wizard finally said, "Esmeralda Weatherwax."

"Esmeralda Weatherwax?" I repeated. Rincewind nodded insistently.

"Explain."

The wizard smiled as he snuggled close to me. He caressed my ear with the tip of his nose and whispered, "I might if you could caress my ears a bit." I agreed and let him put his head into my lap. Then I ran my fingers tenderly over the skin behind his ears and through his hair – the touch he liked best.

"Mustrum Ridcully and Esmeralda Weatherwax have been a couple, a long time ago. It was before she became a witch and before he went to the University," he said after enjoying silently for a while, "And for all I know, there is still much feeling for her left in him."

"Ah," I said. But I failed to see the connection between them and us.

"If he had been able to, he would have married her then," Rincewind said. Now, Understanding dawned to me.

"So this was the reason why he gave into our love, wasn't it?"

"He said I have been young once myself, remember that?" Rincewind said. His left hand slid slowly down my leg, his fingertips hardly touching my skin and tickling me. I had to catch my breath to stifle the giggle when he reached the knee-cap and stayed there for a couple of minutes.

"So I think one of us might talk to Esmeralda Weatherwax," Rincewind said. He turned his head and smiled at me as his fingers went down my leg. I tried very hard not to laugh but I lost when his fingers reached my foot.

"Stop that, please!" I giggled, "That tickles!" The wizard stroke my sole once from the heel to the toes, making me really laugh this time. Then he stopped, straightened up and sat next to me again.

"I'm getting hungry," he said, kissed me and put an arm around me.

"Me too," I agreed, "What do you think about taking a bath while I fix some food for us?"

"Fine with me." Rincewind kissed me again and got up. I slid my bathrobe on and went to look over my supplies. There was a small jug of milk, some flour, a couple of eggs, salt, pepper, a piece of butter and a piece of ham cut into thick slices. And, of course, there was some mash left.

I fried the sliced ham in butter and made little pancakes from the mash, the flour, the eggs, the milk and the spices. When the food was almost ready, I went to set the table and suddenly heard someone clear his throat. Startled, I pulled my bathrobe shut, turned around and looked into the bony face of Death. I wanted to greet him as usual but I couldn't when I felt the difference in his expression.

"RINCEWIND IS HERE, TOO, I SUPPOSE," he said, not mincing matters. I swallowed hard and nodded before I called the wizard's name towards the bathroom. Rincewind showed up just a moment later, the still wet body clad into two towels. When he saw the Grim Reaper, he gasped hard.

"What are you doing here?" He knit his brows.

"I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU," Death said, "THERE MIGHT BE DIRE CONSEQUENCES WHEN YOU DO WHAT IS ON YOUR MINDS."

For one or two seconds, I wondered what he was talking about. But then I remembered him telling that he was keeping up to date. I was sure he could do easy with his library.

I wondered how much of the things we had done the Grim Reaper might have noticed. But then again it seemed to be ridiculous to think that way. Every step of a Discworld creature is written down in its book, promptly, fully and continuously until the day it would die.

"We love each other!" the wizard said, squaring his bony shoulders. He jutted out his chin and stood in front of me. Circumstances permitting, Rincewind really could put his foot down.

Death watched the wizard in silence and for some time Rincewind could face the glance from the empty sockets. But then he blinked and lowered his gaze.

"We love each other," he repeated, a little more quiet this time. Death remained silent. I plucked up my courage, came next to the wizard and took his hand.

"We love each other," Rincewind said for the third time, louder again. Still, the Grim Reaper didn't answer but kept holding on to his scythe and looking at us.

"YOU BETTER DRY YOURSELF PROPERLY," he finally said, "I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO BLAME IF YOU'LL CATCH YOUR DEATH OF COLD."

When Rincewind had dried his body and both of us were wearing our clothes again, Death, the wizard and me sat down around the table. Death just took a small helping of the potato pancakes I offered. Rincewind, however, was helping himself as much as he could eat. My own hunger wasn't big anymore. If Death wanted to talk to us in person, things didn't seem to look bright.

The Grim Reaper's arguments were quite similar to the ones Rincewind had brought up.

"NOBODY CAN ALLOW A MAGE WAR AGAIN," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, "AND THIS IS WHAT THE LOVE OF WIZARDS MOSTLY RESULT IN. THESE ARE THE RULES."

My heart sank into my boots. I had been searching for a man like Rincewind for all my life. I had been yearning for a man to have confidence in and to feel safe with. And now, when I finally had found him, all was threatening to fail.

"Is there really no way to avoid a Mage War?" I almost whispered. Death's empty sockets flickered with blue lights when he was giving this a thought. Then he shook his head, making my heart drop down even deeper.

"There might be a way, I think," Rincewind piped in after a small belch. Death and I looked at him.

"WELL?" said the Grim Reaper.

"For all I know, Barbara is a person Ridcully is giving great respect to," the wizard explained, "And his feelings are still very strong for Esmeralda Weatherwax. Everybody in the faculty knows that. In fact, Ridcully himself is the only one who thinks this of a secret. Well, be it as it may... I think there's a way to connect these two facts to succeed."

"I RATHER DOUBT THAT," Death said. Yet he sounded less encouraged. The wizard looked at us and explained what was on his mind. When he had finished, Death sighed.

"DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS MIGHT WORK?" he asked.

"I do think it's worth trying," the wizard said.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Death looked at me.

Unlike the Grim Reaper, I wasn't sure of Rincewind's idea to fail. During the time I had spent with the wizard I had learned that he wasn't as headless and dumb as most people were thinking of him. Unlike the other wizards at Unseen University, he was the sort of person who wouldn't tell before thinking.

"I trust in Rincewind," I said, "And I think it's worth a try."


	4. Travelling to Lancre

Two weeks after the talk we had with Death, on a foggy spring day, things were gaining momentum. I had requested for a one week vacation, and after several discussions, William de Worde had granted it.

On this morning, I chose my every day dress for the travel. It had a long black skirt, long black sleeves and red lapels making the top part looking like a short jacket. A red cloth covered my breast from the narrow red belt up to the middle of my bosom. Fine white flowers were ornamenting the edges. White cloth covered the part up to my chin.

Carefully, I packed my dragon skin bag, took my dragon skin cloak and waited for Death to pick me up. He had promised Rincewind that he would take me to Lancre. The wizard himself would follow some time later, if everything would go according to plan. If Ridcully might find both of us gone from Ankh-Morpork, he might smell bacon which was just about the least thing Rincewind or I wanted to risk.

Death had assured me that he would bring me in good health to Lancre, the home of the witches Esmeralda Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. Lancre was about 40 miles away from Ankh-Morpork. So he showed up in time. But I soon learned not to count my chickens before they were hatched.

Out of a sudden, Binky stopped galloping through the air, shook its mane and snorted.

"What is it?" I turned around to face Death who raised his head and sniffed.

"DUTY CALLS," he said, "SOMEONE IS DYING OVER THERE IN THAT VILLAGE. I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANY FURTHER." I looked worried.

"NO NEED TO WORRY. LANCRE IS NOT FAR FROM HERE. YOU CAN'T MISS IT."

Almost an hour later, I was desperate, cursing at the entire world. The cold and wet from the afternoon had crept underneath my cloak, and I was completely lost.

"IF YOU GO ON IN THIS DIRECTION, YOU WILL FIND A CROSSING," Death had said, "TURN LEFT THERE AND WALK ABOUT TWO MILES. THEN YOU TURN LEFT AGAIN AND FOLLOW THE WAY TO LANCRE."

Finding the crossing and turning left had been easy. But when I wanted to turn left again, I stared at a wall of rock. So I had to go back. But I didn't have any idea how far two miles might be. So everything had to take its course: I found myself back at the crossing.

"A nice start..." I murmured, closed my eyes, crept further under my cloak and wondered what might be next.

As if on cue, the bushes right in front of me crackled and rustled. I swallowed hard and started searching for the small crossbow Lord Downey had given me. I drew the bowstring and aimed at the bushed with slightly trembling hands.

Out of a sudden, a huge ball of dirty, grey and very damp fur jumped at me and landed in front of my feet, giving me a start. Then I realized that the furry ball contained a cat which sat down and started cleaning itself.

Usually, I like cats very much. I favour them over dogs because they can be trained but not be drilled into mindless killing machines. Yet this feline here seemed to be its own master who could give me short shrift if this thought might come to its mind. I was sure that this was no feline having spent its nine lives behind a warm stove.

The dark grey fur was covered with so many scars it resembled a strange quilt. The ears might have been big and pointed once but now there were only short and ragged stumps left. The most impressive thing on this tomcat were its eyes. One was covered with a milky white coating, like a huge pearl. The other one looked at me in an awesome shiny yellow and kept looking at me.

Slowly, I put the crossbow aside. I didn't have any idea how this tomcat would react when I would twitch. But I could have sworn it was smirking at me.

I thought about the cats I had met during in my life and this one seemed to be a very special guy. Then my remembering stirred. I realized that this really wasn't a usual tomcat. I was facing no one else than Greebo, the tomcat of Nanny Ogg.

"Sorry if I scared you, friend." This was the only thing I could say. Greebo uttered a scoffing sound and continued cleaning his fur.

"Would you like some grub?" I asked hopefully. Greebo stopped licking his front paw and raised his head, his ears turning towards me. I reached for my bag without taking my eyes off him and brought forth a little food parcel with some bread and sausages. Cut-My-Own-Throat Dibbler had given it to me. He had said more than once that this was premium goods. So far, he had given me fine goods every time, due to my special status as "Roundworld-Miss". So I was glad it was still lasting.

I opened up the parcel and spread the content in front of Greebo who stepped closer with a cat's own dignity to see over the sausages and feast on them.

"Maybe you could help me," I said, watching him gobbling down the food, "I'm headed for Lancre, and now I'm lost. Maybe you could show me the way?"

Greebo licked his furrowed muzzle. By now, the only thing left in my food parcel was soaked bread. Watching him, I took the parcel back and put it back into the dragon skin bag. Then I got up and looked at Greebo.

The tomcat uttered a rusted sounding meow and gave me another piercing look before he jumped at me and climbed upon my shoulder. I clenched my teeth when I discovered that there was indeed something the cloak of dragon skin didn't protect me from: Greebo's impressive claws. Of course, the tomcat didn't think of pulling them in.

Greebo laid down onto my shoulders like a stola and pinched me with all of his claws at once. More blood trickled down my dress, and this time I couldn't help moaning. Greebo snorted, as if being amused. Then he released the pressure of the left front and the left hint paw. I obeyed and moved forward.

Using the pressure of his claws, Greebo directed me to Lancre. Death had been right; it wasn't far from the crossing. If you knew where to go, that was. I looked at the first houses of Lancre coming in sight. I wasn't really surprised that this town seemed to be much cleaner than Ankh-Morpork. After all, Ankh-Morpork was a real big city, wasn't it? Lancre, however...

I searched my remembering for a suitable comparison and remembered a few visits in cities like Berlin, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt and some other smaller towns on Roundworld where I had had some good friends. Ankh-Morpork was to compare with a moloch like Berlin, and Lancre was more like a mid-size town like Marburg, a small Hessian city I had liked to visit a lot.

Greebo led me towards a house quite in the middle of Lancre. When we almost had gotten there, he jumped down from my shoulder and ran towards the little house. An old woman opened the door when he sat down and meowed. Her rotund body was clad in a black dress and a pair of high-heeled red boots.

The woman picked up the tomcat that snuggled into her arms and suddenly became Mr Little Cute Kitten himself. Effusively, she patted the tomcat and wanted to go back inside when she spotted me. I gave her a friendly and polite nod.

The old woman had white curly hair and an open wrinkled face. Most of the wrinkles seemed to be laughter lines. A small hedgehog shaped pipe sat in the left corner of her mouth.

"Good Day!" she exclaimed, "Please, do come closer, Roundworld-Miss!" Astonished, I obeyed. My face must have shown a lot of puzzlement, because the old woman laughed out loud.

"You do wonder why I know about you, don't you?" she cheerily asked, "Well, you're really big news to all of Discworld, and news use to spread very fast around here." She extended the hand that didn't hold the cat.

"I'm Gytha Ogg, but most call me Nanny around here. And I can see you have met Greebo already."

"Yes, I did," I said, finding my speech and manners again, "My name is Barbara Meta. Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise."

"Greebo was so kind to lead me here, Mrs Ogg." I looked at the tomcat that was looking back.

"Thank you so very much, Greebo," I said. Somehow it didn't seem to be right to me if I wouldn't thank him personally. The only reply of the tomcat was a hearty yawn. The few teeth it had left were yellowish and appeared to be very sharp looking.

"You look hungry, Miss," said Nanny Ogg and waved the free hand at her house, "Welcome to Tir Nani Ogg."

I didn't know what to think about the house of a witch when I entered "Tir Nani Ogg". But I surely didn't expect a small house quite similar to mine, both in the exterior and the interior. The only differences were a couple of shelves, crammed with knickknackery.

Nanny Ogg gave me some slices of dark tasty bread and a big bowl of viscous flavoursome soup. At this sight Appetite started yelling. The soup had a taste of carrots and pumpkin. Altogether, it was delicious.

While I was eating, Nanny Ogg asked about Roundworld. The witch was most interested in cookery and interpersonal relationships. Finally I told her about the reason for my journey, and the old woman smiled broadly.

"You want to marry this man," she said, sounding amused, "A wizard, of all people."

"Well, he isn't any wizard," I shyly objected, "There's really not very much of wizardry skills in him."

"But basically he is a wizard, isn't he?"

"Well..." I hesitated. Rincewind wasn't really much of a wizard, but by now, he was able to do small magic.

"Yes, basically he is a wizard," I confessed.

"You do know about the consequences, don't you?" Nanny Ogg looked me over.

"I was told about them once or twice, yes," I said, "But I love Rincewind, and he loves me."

Nanny Ogg seemed to think. For all I knew, she had been married more than once, and she hadn't been averse to hook up with someone. So I hoped that she might understand me.

"I'm not sure what Esme might think about it," she finally said, "But I think we could help you."

"You really could?" I brightened up.

"But I can assure you this won't be easy. It depends on many things to make this thing turn out all right."

"I'm ready to face them," I said firmly, drawing hope again. Nanny Ogg nodded.

"And it's very important that you'll follow all of our instructions without asking silly questions," she said, "If Esme agrees, that is."


	5. The Celebration

I had spend the long and dreamless night in Nanny Oggs' attic. In the morning I woke up by feeling watched. When I opened my eyes, I noticed Greebo sitting next to my head, grinning maliciously. When he saw that I wasn't going back to sleep, he went away.

I put on my dress and went down. I found Nanny Ogg sitting on the table. Greebo was sitting on her lap. In the kitchen I saw a young girl rummaging around who turned around at the sound of my steps and winced. I noticed her resemblance to Nanny Ogg. So she had to be one of her daughters.

"Serve the tea, our Shirl," Nanny Ogg said without turning around. The girl put a cup and a steaming pot onto the table and left without a word.

"Good Morning, Miss," the witch said and waved a hand towards the chair next to her, "Have a seat and a bite to eat, if you like."

"Good Morning, Mrs Ogg," I replied. As I looked at the table, I noticed a third place setting. Obviously, someone was expected to come. Before I could sit down, the door opened up and another woman entered who held a shaggy looking broom in one hand. She was a great deal taller and slimmer than Nanny Ogg. And she seemed to be a lot graver as well.

This woman wore a black dress as well that was much longer than the one Nanny Ogg was wearing. Between the seam and the red boots I could see red-and-white stockings on Nanny Ogg. The other woman's skirt fell down onto her black boots. A long cloak fell over the dress and was held together by a delicate silver brooch underneath her throat.

The look in her bright eyes was intensive. It seemed to be able to cut diamonds. On her head sat a black pointy hat, held in place by several long silvery pins.

I swallowed hard when she put her broom into a corner and looked at me. This woman seemed to be able to look straight into my soul.

"Good Morning, Esme," Nanny Ogg said. The taller woman didn't reply. She just folded her arms across her chest and kept looking at me.

"Well," she said finally, "So this is Roundworld-Miss."

"Yes," I managed to say. The witch looked at me one last time and extended a delicate hand with long slender fingers. I took it carefully and almost expected to hear bones splintering.

"My name is Barbara Meta," I introduced.

"Mistress Esmeralda Weatherwax," replied the witch and sat down herself. So did I. Esmeralda Weatherwax helped herself with a cup of tea, added sugar and stirred.

I began my introductions and Roundworld tales once again, but after a few sentences Esmeralda Weatherwax waved a hand at me and said, "I already know everything I want to know about your world." I gave her a puzzled look. The ghost of a smile touched the mouth of the taller witch.

"You have a kind of talking face, Miss Meta. But I don't think you're surprised to hear that, are you?"

"I indeed heard it once or twice in my lifetime, Mistress Weatherwax. But nobody said it in those plain words before." Esmeralda Weatherwax nodded.

"Why are you here?" she asked. I told her about my life on Discworld, the love between Rincewind and me and about the biggest problem in this case: Mustrum Ridcully. Esmeralda Weatherwax' eyes flickered for a second when she heard this name. But she didn't say anything about that.

"Now tell us what is on your wizard's mind," she requested instead, and I told them about Rincewind's suggestion to call the Archchancellor to Lancre for some reason. At this occasion Esmeralda Weatherwax should try to talk some sense into him and to convince him to let Rincewind and me do this important step.

Nanny Ogg was listening with bright shining eyes while Esmeralda Weatherwax remained stern.

"Your wizard should have thought this out," she sighed when I had finished, "Mustrum Ridcully isn't a man to convince easily to something that apart from his world."

"May I ask if there's a better idea than this one?" I asked. The taller witch nodded.

"All of Esme's ideas are good," Nanny Ogg piped in. Esmeralda Weatherwax noticed this compliment without any further comment.

"It should be quite easy to bring the wizards to Lancre," she said, "The queen has given birth to a second child, a son this time. This is a really important local event, you know. Quite everybody is invited."

"I can understand that," I agreed, "So I suppose that Mustrum Ridcully will attend, won't he?" Nanny Ogg smiled broadly, and Esmeralda Weatherwax nodded briefly.

"There's a lot of things he wouldn't want to miss, and a journey to Lancre is ranking very high on this list. So I count on him being on the way already," she said, "The celebration will start tomorrow. I can talk to him then, this won't be a problem." She fell silent to sip her tea.

"But it might be hard to make him give his consent," Nanny Ogg said.

"But there is a possibility to convince him, isn't it?" I asked. The two witches gave each other a long and somehow thoughtful look.

"Yes, there is a possibility," Esmeralda Weatherwax said, "But there are some requirements as well. Do you love your Rincewind with all your heart?"

"I do," I replied. Esmeralda Weatherwax brought her face closer to mine. Her bright eyes locked with my dark brown ones.

"And do you dare to go to the outmost in this case?" she quietly asked. Very carefully, I searched for the right words to say.

"All my life, I have been looking for such a man. Now I don't want to loose him again, Mistress Weatherwax," I said, "Yes, I dare to go to the outmost in this case."

The witch looked at me for one or two seconds before she blinked and nodded.

"That's good," she said and gave me another short smile, "I don't have to worry then." She looked at me as if she wouldn't say anything more about this. So I didn't dare to ask about details of the plan.

The eyes of Nanny Ogg suggested confidence. But the look in the bright eyes of Esmeralda Weatherwax made me wonder if I was really ready to go to the outmost. I just could hope that my courage would last.

When the next morning dawned, the witches led me to Lancre Castle to meet King Verence II and Queen Magrat of Lancre. We had to pass lots of servants and maid. Every now and then, Mistress Weatherwax had to push aside a servant to pass. Nanny Ogg held onto my arm and led me to the throne room. The servants and maids were busy to set everything in place here, too. The big celebration on the occasion of the baptism was about to begin this evening.

To my great astonishment, the Royal Couple was quite young. The King, a tall and portly built man, couldn't be older than twenty-eight years, and the blond delicate Queen looked even younger. Both of them were very friendly and let me know that Lancre Castle would be open for me, not only for the celebration but at every other time as well.

"After all, it is a great honour to have Roundworld-Miss here in Lancre," King Verence II said solemnly, and the Queen gave me a benevolent nod.

„It is an even greater honour to meet Your Majesties," I replied and drew a curtsy. The Royal Couple gave me another benevolent smile before the Queen's gaze went past me and changed for a second. The two witches had stood behind me during this scene and had listened.

"We have prepared a room for you. So you can refresh yourself before the celebration will start," the Queen said and signalled for one of the maids. I recognized the girl I had seen in Tir Nani Ogg who had been addressed as Shirl. I drew another curtsy.

"Your Majesties are very kind to me, by Io," I said, hoping that was adequate to mention Blind Io, the Head of the Discworld Gods and Sender of Thunder and Lightning.

The Queen nodded. Shirl drew a curtsy and led me towards the door. Esmeralda Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg didn't move from their spots. For a moment, I wanted to stay and listen to the plan. But the look from Esmeralda Weatherwax made me change my mind. Besides, my body could use a bath and a fresh dress. Maybe I could do with some rest and food, too.

Some time later I was lying in the most beautiful tub I had ever seen. Unlike my tub at home, it was made of smooth white marble and was a lot larger. It was spacious enough to give room to Rincewind and me both. Shirl had hung up my clothes to dry. A stove was warming up the room. Next to the tub there was a small plate with some fruit standing on a small table near-by.

Yet I wasn't really confident. Sure, the thing might come to a good end but my optimism had shrivelled since the day before because I didn't know what was on the mind of Esmeralda Weatherwax.

I arose from the tub, combed my hair and got dressed. Since I was braiding my hair, my natural curls had almost vanished. So I could avoid looking like a duster in wet weather.

The dress I wore was my best summer dress. It was dark red, just like my best winter dress. But the cloth was a lot thinner to cope with the warmth. Black lace was ornamenting the v-neck. It ran along the long sleeves and around the seam of the top part of the dress as well as the edges of the sleeves. The lace formed 3 large hooks on the skirt. I closed the five black buttons on the front and appreciated once again Death's generosity.

I looked at the mirror while Shirl braided my hair and put it very elegantly around the back of my head.

"Thank you," I said to the girl, looked again at my reflection and felt uneasy again.

Esmeralda Weatherwax is a very intelligent and powerful witch. She'll know what to do, I thought, and I knew that was the truth. Yet, the uneasiness remained.

There were already some guests in the throne room when I entered. I noticed the two witches, a few young servants and maids looking very similar to Nanny Ogg and finally there were the main faculty members of Unseen University: Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully, the Dean, the Chair of Indefinite Studies, the Senior Wrangler, the Lecturer in Recent Runes, the Librarian and Rincewind.

Rincewind turned his head and spotted me. I was about to go to him, but Mustrum Ridcully stepped ahead and knit his brows. I stopped and looked at the scrawny wizard who smiled guiltily and shrugged. I looked at Mustrum Ridcully and withdrew. The wizards went to the buffet and helped themselves with a first plate of food. I couldn't help smiling.

This was the first part of Rincewind's idea. Esmeralda Weatherwax hadn't seemed to change that part. So it had worked according to plan. Rincewind had prophesied that Mustrum Ridcully would hit the ceiling and would hold me responsible for the fact that Rincewind was thinking about marrying now.

I felt a bit calmer when I walked around in the throne room,eating and drinking a bit. Among other people I met a dwarf standing close to Nanny Ogg.

"Meet Count Giamo Casanunda," the old witch said. I learned that even the dwarfs had heard the news of "Roundworld-Miss". So the Count was very delighted to meet me. What he lacked of size he coped with charm and cordiality.

It was a quiet ceremony. The priest, a man in his fifties, held a calm speech and baptised the Prince as Thomas Verence Jonathan of Lancre. When he had finished, servants and maids were handing small mugs of tin to everyone. I took one from a medium-sized redhead who gave me a jaded smile. I hardly noticed that he looked as similar to Nanny Ogg as Shirl did. The Royal Couple lifted their mugs for a toast.

"May our son live to see peace and wealth," King Verence II said, "May he live to see wisdom and fairness."

The people lifted the mugs to toast and drank. I emptied my mug to down in one. The liquid tasted like wine, dry and sweet and fruity all the same. And yet, there was another taste I couldn't place.

Suddenly, the world seemed to fade to grey. The light became dim and dreary. My heart began to pound harder. I could feel it in every part of my body, slowing down with every second. Then the world became blurred in front of my eyes, and I blacked out.

I jerked my eyes open. I was lying on a hard floor. There was nothing but black. But then I realized that I had been wrong. The blackness was multi-faceted.

I arose and looked around. I could see a lawn, a bunk, a house and a figure sitting on the bunk. The figure was quite familiar – very tall and very bony.

"Death!" I exclaimed, going to meet him. The Grim Reaper turned around and lifted a hand.

"Where am I?"

"YOU ARE IN MY DOMAIN," said Death, "IT IS AT THE EDGE OF TIME." He patted the bunk to offer me a seat.

"Does that mean I've died?" I wondered, looking at him insecure.

"NO. YOU ARE JUST SEEMINGLY DEAD. OR UNCONSCIOUS MIGHT BE MORE LIKE IT."

I looked at my hands and my sleeve. Both looked as always yet more transparent. I could see the grass through my hand. This was a very interesting sight but I wasn't sure if it was a good sign.

"What will happen now?" I wondered. The Grim Reaper rested his chin on one hand and shrugged.

"ALL WE CAN DO IS TO WAIT IF THE IDEA OF MISTRESS WEATHERWAX WILL BE WORKING AND IF RIDCULLY WILL BE GIVING IN."

I nodded. This made sense on closer expectation. It didn't bother me anymore that no-one had told me the details. Yet there was something that was a food for thought.

"I'll never understand that you know every step of every mortal," I said and shook my head.

"IT HELPS TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE WILL DO," Death said, "YOU NEVER CAN TELL." Due to his tone of voice, there was nothing more to say about it. So we fell silent.

I looked over Death's Garden. On closer inspection, there were details to see. I could see waving grass, some apple and cherry trees or some beehives.

"Death?" I whispered.

"YES?"

"Do you really believe this will work?"

"WELL, YOU DID BELIEVE IT, DIDN'T YOU?" was the Grim Reapers' answer. I didn't know what to say. Yes, I had been convinced that it was a good idea, either the witch's or Rincewind's. Now, however, sitting in Death's Domain and seeing the black grass through my half-transparent hands, Courage had vanished a bit.

Nothing happened for a while. Then, all of a sudden, my left hand became more visible. I winced hard at this sight.

"Death? What's happening here?" I whispered. The Grim Reaper didn't reply. He pulled something from his rope I recognized as my life-timer. I was horrified to notice that there was just little sand left in the upper half.

"No..." I hardly could speak. Death just looked at me and put his hand on my shoulder. I thought there was a kind of sympathy showing in his empty sockets.

"Please, no! It can't be over! Not after we've been through so much!"

Death remained silent. He didn't seem to have anything to tell me.

Suddenly I felt a pulling behind my eyeballs. It grew faster and spread over the whole body. Puzzled, I looked at Death and wanted to say something when I saw my hand becoming less visible again and vanishing completely within a few seconds. I saw Death lifting up the life-timer and turning it around. At the same time, something pulled me back, and I blacked out again.

When I regained consciousness, the first thing I felt was a strange peppermint-like taste in my mouth. I opened my eyes and looked straight into Rincewind's face. The wizard's eyes widened. He uttered a sound that was very similar to a whimper when he took me in his arms and hugged me tight. I could feel his hands shaking badly.

"Ye Gods," he whispered and kissed my forehead and both cheeks, "I thought you were... Oh, bugger, I... I mean..."

"It's alright," I replied and hugged him back, "All is well, my Dear." Rincewind gave me a smile that looked all over the moon.

I looked further and saw the faces of Nanny Ogg, Mustrum Ridcully, the Royal Couple and Esmeralda Weatherwax.

Nanny Ogg gave me a wink while Esmeralda Weatherwax kept her stony face.

The Royal Couple smiled at me.

Mustrum Ridcully's stern face was brightening up.

"I'm glad to see you're back with us, Miss," he said after he had cleared his throat.

"The pleasure is mine, too," I said and wanted to get up. Rincewind gave me a hand and led me to the next seat where he handed me a small cup. First I hesitated but then I noticed a small nod from Nanny Ogg. The cup contained nothing but tasty apple juice.

The celebration continued. Rincewind took care of me. He brought me enough food and drink and stayed near me.

"Did I tell you yet how beautiful you look today?" he asked once. Smiling, I shook my head and kissed him.

In a silent minute, the Archchancellor came over and sat near us.

"How do you feel, Miss?" he asked.

"I'm feeling very much better, thank you very much."

"I suppose you know that Rincewind talked to me about... about... this thing," he said.

"I can imagine that," I said, nodding slowly. The Archchancellor's face bore a strangely bashful impression. He took off his hat and fumbled at the brim.

"And you can imagine I didn't like the sound of it very much. After all, both of you said you didn't want to get married."

"Well, one can reconsider," I replied, feeling my face blush. To my astonishment, the Archchancellor nodded and took a deep breath.

"Well, I have reconsidered as well," he said, "And you were right."

Rincewind's eyes widened. He didn't seem to have heard those words often from Mustrum Ridcully.

"I was right about what?" I asked.

"You were right about the things you said about love." The Archchancellor put his hat back on.

"And I have decided that the marriage of a wizard wouldn't be against the rules," Mustrum Ridcully continued, "In this special occasion, of course."

"It is?" I assured myself and overcame the temptation to look to Esmeralda Weatherwax. That would have ruined everything.

"Yes, it is. Rincewind isn't a usual wizard. He can do magic by now, but his magic is still not good. That's his speciality."

"Thank you so very much," grunted Rincewind.

"Thus you will be wed when we're back at Ankh-Morpork," the Archchancellor said, unimpressed by the interruption.

Very slowly, a smile spread across Rincewind's face. He hugged me and gave me a tender kiss. His eyes were sparkling with joy and relief. I returned the kiss before I arose and shook the Archchancellor's hand.

"Thank you so very much, Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully," I said smiling, "I thank you with all my heart." Mustrum Ridcully looked down at his hands before giving me a short smile.

"You're very welcome, Miss Barbara." He nodded towards us and withdrew. Rincewind and I continued to take care of each other before he apologized to use the privy. As soon he was gone, Esmeralda Weatherwax sat next to me.

"You were right, Miss," she said, "Your Rincewind does love you with all his heart."

"Yes, he does." I knew it was really trivial but I didn't know what else to say. The witch nodded. Finally I worked up my courage to ask something that was a burning issue to me.

"What happened while I was blacked out?"

"Close your eyes," the witch said with a knowing smile and put her left hand on my forehead. I could hear her murmuring. My eyelids became heavy and fell shut. Then I could see pictures flickering in front of me...

 _I see me rolling my eyes and collapsing. The mug drops from my hand and rolls away. Rincewind turns around, utters a scream and runs towards me. The Archchancellor tries to stop him but he fails. Rincewind drops onto his knees next to me and takes me in his arms._

 _"Barbara?" he asks, caresses my hair and tries to wake me up._

 _"Barbara, Dear, please, speak to me!" he conjures me and kisses my cheeks, the mouth and the forehead. But it is no use. Rincewind puts me gently back on the floor. Then he feels my wrist to find my pulse and starts crying. He turns towards Mustrum Ridcully and grips the seam of his robe._

 _"Do something!" he demands sobbing, "Help her!" Mustrum Ridcully pulls his robe from Rincewind's long fingers and goes in a huddle with the other wizards while Rincewind is growing more and more anxious._

 _"I'm afraid I can't help her," he says._

 _"Then think of something!" Rincewind almost screams at him under his tears, "I don't care what you'll do! But do something! Save her! Save her now!"_

 _Slowly, Mustrum Ridcully turns to face the two witches._

 _"Esme, you're the most powerful witch far and wide," he says, "I know you can help the Miss."_

 _"Oh, I'm not sure, Mustrum," the witch replies evenly, "I don't know what to do in this case."_

 _"Esme, please, I know you can!" The Archchancellor draws a deep breath and looks at her beseechingly. The witch looks him over before she folds her arms across her chest and tilts her head slightly aside._

 _"Well, I think I really could do something for her, Mustrum," she says and looks into the Archchancellor's eyes. Ridcully sighs in relief._

 _"You can?" he asks. Rincewind lifts his teary eyes up to her._

 _"However, my help subjects to some condition," continues Esmeralda Weatherwax, "I'll help her on condition that you'll allow Rincewind to marry the Miss." Mustrum Ridcully gives her a horror-stricken gaze._

 _"What?" he thunders, "You can't do that, Esme!"_

 _"I won't help her if you won't agree!" Esmeralda Weatherwax says categorical. The Archchancellor turns pale and says, "You're blackmailing me, Esme?"_

 _"Maybe I do so, Mustrum," the witch replies resolutely, "But do think of the consequences for a moment. If you dig in your heels you could be blamed for the death of Roundworld-Miss."_

 _More tears are showing in Rincewind's blue eyes when he says, "Please, Archchancellor, please don't do that! I... I can't live without her! Please, Archchancellor, please help her!"_

 _For a few minutes Mustrum Ridcully looks from Esmeralda Weatherwax to Rincewind who is still kneeing beside my lying body. Finally, he bows his head and utters a long and somehow tortured sigh._

 _I can see my left hand twitching. I'm almost positive that this has been the moment when it has been becoming solid in Death's domain._

 _"Alright, Esme," the Archchancellor almost whispers, "I'll agree to this marriage."_

 _Esmeralda nods and brings forward a little bottle with a greenish liquid. She pushes Rincewind aside and opens my lips to pour some of the liquid in my mouth. Then she closes my lips and murmurs a few words._

 _With the beating of my heart my body comes alive again..._

I opened my eyes again and looked at Esmeralda Weatherwax as she took her hand from my forehead and returned the look.

"Thank you so very much, Mistress Weatherwax," I said smiling.

"Don't mention it," the witch replied. She shook my hand and was gone.

When the night drew to a close, I was back in my room, lying in the tub again. Shirl had brought me another bowl of fruits. They helped me relax.

This had been a very long and exhausting day. Firstly, I had attended to one of the Lancre feasts I had read about, and secondly, I had made another incisive experience. After all, visiting the Grim Reaper in his domain and coming back to tell of it was no usual thing to do.

But I still remembered the frightening sight of my hand in Death's domain. Despite of the warm water it was still giving me a shiver. So I hoped to avoid this for a long, long time.

There was a small knock at the door. Rincewind poked his head into the room.

"Hello, Dear," he said smiling. I straightened up and reached out for him. The wizard came in, closed the door and knelt down in front of the tub.

"Are you alright?" he asked, took me in his arms and put his forehead against mine. I nodded.

"You know, I never thought everything would work out in that good way," the wizard continued without almost any transition, "I mean, first we meet in the streets of Ankh-Morpork where I walk around every day, and then we fall in love, and we're happy with each other, and now we're going to marry, and no-one is arguing about it, and..." I pulled him nearer and closed his mouth with a tender kiss.

"Yes, I know what you want to say, Dear," I whispered, "And by the way, I feel the same." The wizard gave me a timid smile. He took a strawberry from the plate and nudged the tip against my lips. I obeyed and let him feed me. We shared the fruits and talked, me sitting in the tub, he kneeling in front of it. When the water had turned too cold, we lied down.

Mustrum Ridcully and the faculty wanted to leave on the day after the celebration to make sure that Unseen University would keep working. Rincewind told me that the Archchancellor had allowed him to stay for another day to take care of me.

So Rincewind and I enjoyed the extra day in piece. We slept until noon and shared plenty of tenderness. When we got up in the afternoon, I asked Shirl to pour another bath for both of us.

Rincewind noticed that my braid had become messed. So he opened my hair to wash and comb it carefully.

Before we returned to Ankh-Morpork, the wizard and I used the opportunity to thank the parties hereto and went to see Nanny Ogg and Esmeralda Weatherwax. The witches had gathered in "Tir Nani Ogg" when we dropped by.

Esmeralda Weatherwax didn't talk much but she watched us closely. Nanny Ogg served tea and a light meal and made us talk about our plans. When we said goodbye, she handed me a small lucky charm to bring luck to our marriage. I could see that Rincewind didn't think much of it. But he held his tongue.

In the evening, after we had bid farewell to the Royal Couple, we were sitting in a carriage and were driven to Ankh-Morpork. The ride seemed to be endless. The night was growing darker and darker. I could see almost nothing out there because the moon was hidden behind a cloud.

I was dozing when Rincewind suddenly straightened up and started sniffing.

"Barbara!" I heard him whisper, "Barbara, wake up, Dear!"

"Um?" I opened my eyes and tried to reorientate myself. The wizard peered into the darkness and sniffed hard before he said, "We're here!"

I looked out of the window and tried to see something. Just in that moment, the moon came forward behind a cloud.

I saw the Tower of Art reaching up for miles and miles. I saw the small labyrinthine alleys and roads of the town and the roofs shining with tar. I saw the broad river Ankh shining in the moonlight. The intense smell of the city was waving towards us.

A smile crept into my face, and the warm feeling of joy crept into my stomach. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to face Rincewind who was smiling back at me.

"Yes," he said and kissed me gently, "We're back home."

I nodded while I was thinking about the various stations of my life.

I thought about my hard, sometimes even cruel childhood in a small German town which I had learned to despite with all my heart.

I thought about the years of education in other German cities I was holding much dearer.

I thought about the time when I had moved close to Dusseldorf where I had lived pleasantly until the class reunion.

Now I realized that I had been happy in some of these cities but the first town I had really felt at home had been here on Discworld, in the sizzling and always exciting metropolis of Ankh-Morpork.


	6. Happenings

Even though I lived in Ankh-Morpork for more than one and a half year by now, there was one characteristic on Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully that still surprised me. If he happened to be wrong in one case, he was never at a loss for a sudden change of direction. Mostly this was coming with a long-breathed excuse. He did so when he realized that the marriage of me and Rincewind couldn't be managed in a summary process.

There was the banquet to plan. If Mustrum Ridcully would grant such an exception, he didn't want to be stingy with that. He wanted this banquet to be different from Unseen University's usual meals, of course. Yet it shouldn't be more vast than Hogswatch Dinner.

There was the Great Hall to be fixed up according to the event to give room to enough guests. William de Worde had put my advert in the paper, and in addition, I had searched for another way to spread the news as far as possible. I was given an unexpected hand by the patrician when he offered me to use a Pointless Albatross to deliver the message everywhere, like a carrier pigeon. After all, I wanted to have as many people as possible attending to my great day.

Of course, all of Ankh-Morpork was all excited because of the first wedding ever between a wizard and a non-wizard in town. And "Roundworld-Miss" being involved in this case made it unbelievably exciting.

Corporal Nobby Nobbs told me about Captain Carrot's offer to take care of our wedding rings. I was delighted when I saw the result.

The broad rings were made of gold. Four thin silver strings were sitting on top like small battlements.

There was suitable clothing for Rincewind and me to be made. After all, it was unthinkable of him getting wed in a tattered wizard's robe and hat. I myself did have dresses for special occasions but none of it was suitable for my own wedding.

There were our witnesses to be named. This was a thing Rincewind didn't have any problems with. Choosing two members of the faculty at random, he settled for Ponder Stibbons and the Senior Wrangler. Given the fact that I had more than one qualified acquaintance to chose, I had a harder decision to make. Finally, I chose the Patrician, to thank him for the hint with the Pointless Albatross, and Death.

In short, there were still lots of preparations to make.

The first months of these preparations flew smoothly, just like the second one. Mrs Whitlow and two other seamstresses, two girls who were really keen of needlework, were making my wedding dress. Standing before the mirror in the room of Unseen University's housekeeper, I was at loss for words for a moment. I couldn't believe that this dressed-up woman really should be me. It was a very beautiful sight.

The white dress made of damask fabric was narrow cut and fell down to my ankles. The cloth showed a pattern of roses which looking like tracery on a frozen window. The sleeves were tight up the elbows and baggy up to the shoulders. A piece of embroidered silk covered the breast up to the high collar and the back all the same. A row of fine pearly buttons closed the dress from the collar down to the back. The chain with the little ball of denatured Octiron was around my neck.

Mrs Whitlow looked at me and wiped off a tear of proud.

"Miss is looking wonderful," she said quietly. I took her meaty hands and caressed them gently.

"Thank you, Mrs Whitlow," I said, "I was told that you're an unpayable woman. And now I see it's true." Unseen University's housekeeper blinked in a slightly embarrassed way.

"You're very, very welcome," she appeased, "It is the least Ai can do for Miss."

On Discworld, September, the third month of my wedding preparation, was called Spune. When it started, the heat of late summer came to town as well as a very subtle change.

Wherever I went, I felt watched out of a sudden. When I looked around, there were people looking at my direction, of course. There were the members of the city watch, e.g., there was Cut-My-Own-Throat Dibbler or Lord Downey, and there were the Patrician's guard and other citizens of Anhk-Morpork I knew. But they were giving me just short sort of glances. They looked or nodded at me, talked to me and walked by. Everything was as usual. Yet I felt watched.

At one evening I went home just as usually and felt watched again. But I couldn't see anyone nearby. A shiver ran down my spine when I heard steps coming from an alley. I searched for my small crossbow and ammunition.

"Who are you?" I exclaimed and tried to work up some courage, "Show yourself!" The only respond was silence. I drew the bowstring and put in one of the small arrows.

"Show yourself!" I demanded again. The steps were coming closer. I could see a deeply afflicted figure.

"Forgive me... Miss," a voice said, "I didn't... want to... scare you. Don't worry... I don't want... to harm you." The voice was nothing but a whisper.

"If you don't mean any harm, come into the light then," I demanded, "I want to see who I talk to."

Then, out of a sudden, the figure was standing right in front me. It was an old woman. I could see two droughty hands, looking like a couple of twigs covered with skin. There were connected to two stick-thin arms hanging on the deeply afflicted body. I could see a weazen face with two blue eyes. They looked slightly familiar to me. Long red hair was showing in thick bunches from underneath a dirty headscarf.

The very aged woman was clad in rags. It scared me how a bit long in the tooth and frail she looked to me. She looked like a corpse which had gone for a last stroll before the visit of Death. Instinctively, I looked around for a tall figure in black. But I couldn't see the Grim Reaper.

When it came to me that I was still holding the crossbow, I tucked it away.

"Who are you?" I asked. The old woman smiled at me with a toothless mouth.

"My name... isn't important... Miss," she whispered, "Just... just wanted to see... famous Roundworld-Miss... with my own two eyes... before the end... is near." She fell silent to draw a deep and stertorous breath before she said, "And I... wanted to wish... well to your husband... and you."

Absent-minded, I nodded. I couldn't take my eyes from hers. I knew I had seen those eyes before. Yet I couldn't place them.

"Thank you," I said. The old woman touched my hand and smiled at me again before she wanted to walk away.

"Please wait!" I exclaimed, "I'd like to know whom I have the pleasure with. Do you have a name?"

"My name... isn't important," the old woman repeated, turning around and smiling at me again, "It's never good... to know the name... of somebody... you can't... bid a welcome... anymore." Now awareness dawned to me.

"You are Rincewind's mother, aren't you?" I exclaimed. The old woman hesitated for a moment before she gave me a nod.

"I heard such a great deal about you," I said, grabbing her hands, "Can I do you something good?" My future mother-in-law shook her head.

"I... don't have... much time left... Miss," she whispered, "Please... promise to take care... of my son."

"I will," I said and almost cried when she started to cough hard and couldn't stop for a few minutes.

"Please... don't tell him... you met me," she continued when the seizure was over, "I made... a big mistake... when I was young. I don't dare... to ask for... his forgiveness. But I... don't want... him to be angry... with me... either."

She seemed to be exhausted after saying so much. I took her hands again and kissed them tenderly. Rincewind's mother smiled again before she was gone.

As far as I knew, Rincewind had never actually met his mother. She had left when he had been born. He hadn't talked much about his parents so far. So, until now, I hadn't known whether his mother might be still alive or who his father might be.

I arrived home in a thoughtful mood. Rincewind was already waiting. When I entered, he sighed in relief.

"I was worried you might be in trouble," he said. I put down my bag and my cloak and put my arms around his thin waist. The wizard frowned.

"Have you been in trouble?" he asked. A hint of concern crept into his voice.

"No," I said quietly, nestling up against his lanky chest, "I'm just very glad to have you."

"Thank you, Dear," the wizard replied. He hugged me and caressed my hair.

"Well, me too," he added after a few minutes. I raised my head and gave him a smile.

"I thought I'd mention it," I said and kissed him, "What do you want for dinner?"

After having a meat-and-potato-pie and doing the dishes we laid down. We spent almost an hour caressing and kissing each other before Rincewind snuggled up close to me, drew a deep breath and fell asleep.

It took me a few minutes more to find some rest. I was thinking about Rincewind's mother, and I was hoping that her life might have come to a good end.

Finally, the great day was looking around the next corner. Rincewind and I were about to be wed on the last day of Spune which would be in about two weeks.

By now, the banquet was arranged, and everybody knew about our wedding, due to the Times and the Pointless Albatross. And even people from far places, like the Lancre Witches, Rincewind's cousin Bill from Fourecks and his old friend Twoflower from the Agatean Empire, had confirmed their attendance.

Of course, I had read a lot about Bill Rincewind, the Archchancellor of the Buggerup University of Fourecks and the first tourist of Discworld named Twoflower. So I was keen on meeting them.

During the last week before the marriage, Rincewind moved from Unseen University to my house. He would keep his office, but Mustrum Ridcully had decided that husband and wife should live together.

The wizard showed up in a kind of grumpy mood. The Luggage followed him in slow, hesitatingly steps and stayed close to the door this time. Rincewind turned around and stood with his hands on his hips.

"Will you stop making such a fuss about it!" he complained. The Luggage uttered a small and somehow angry creaking.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked. Rincewind kissed me tenderly.

"It's been sulking all day," he said, giving a disfavouring look to the chest which hadn't moved away from the door, "It doesn't like the idea of moving."

I hunkered down in front of the Luggage which gave me a miserable glance. Of course, this wasn't the first time it had been here. Yet it was a different story to visit a place or to move in completely.

I tried to touch the lid carefully. The Luggage backed away quickly.

"I think we ought to leave it alone for now," I said, "I think it has to cope with the situation."

"Wait a minute." Rincewind stepped up to the Luggage and gave it a long look.

"Give me my clothes!" he demanded. The Luggage didn't move. The wizard rolled his eyes.

"Come on now," he said, "We'll leave you alone after this." The lid rose slowly and held its position until Rincewind had taken out a big sack. Then it snapped shut. We put the wizard's clothes away and decided to have chips and some pork pie for dinner.

While eating, we ignored the Luggage. I looked at the chest when we went to bed. It was still sitting next to the door. Finally I had an idea.

I put some of the chips on a small plate and put the plate on a blanket underneath the table. I didn't know if the Luggage had to eat at all but I remembered that it was fond of chips. Rincewind had told me so. Maybe the chips would make the Luggage feel a bit better.

Some time later, I had to use the privy. I arose carefully and went into the bathroom. On the way back I looked towards the front door.

The Luggage was gone. First, I thought it might have run away. But then I reconsidered. There was no sign for the Luggage running away, like a hole in the wall or the door.

The chest was sitting next to the table and seemed to be asleep. The plate underneath the table was empty. Carefully I walked towards it and knelt down in front of it.

"I can imagine this must be difficult for you," I whispered, "And I hope we will get along, you and Rincewind and me."

Of course, there was no reply. Yet I could have sworn the chest was giving me a thoughtful glance. I dared to put my hand onto its lid. There was a creaking but no move from the Luggage. It reminded me of some pet, like a kitten which is new someplace.

"Good night. Make yourself at home, if you like," I said, "And if you can, I hope you have a nice dream." I took my hand off the lid and went back to bed.

"Did it calm down again?" Rincewind asked when we were having breakfast. I looked at the Luggage sitting underneath the table and pretending as if nothing would happen.

"Seems to," I replied. The wizard sighed, "I hope it will behave."

"We'll have to wait and see, I guess," I said.

The day of the wedding came in no time. It was very early when I woke up and couldn't find any sleep. The wizard had woken up already. He stood at the window in the kitchen and watched the sunrise. When I came closer, he turned around to smile at me.

"You can't stay in bed as well, can you?"

"I'm way to excited to sleep, you know," I said.

"I don't blame you," he said, smiling a little, "It's going to be a really important day for us after all."

"It is." I put my arms around his waist and put my head against his chest. Beneath his scars, his skin was quite soft. The wizard uttered a soft little sound I had heard once or twice before. A sound like this indicated that he was feeling very good.

After the breakfast, we got dressed in the bathroom. Rincewind was first.

"Well? What do you think?" He was dressed in a red robe, cloak and hat. Black trousers and boots went with it. The wide-brimmed hat was embroidered with golden sequins, forming the word "wizzard". Rincewind had sewed them on himself.

"I think you're looking very good," I said and went to dress myself. When I came back into the kitchen, Rincewind stood saucer-eyed for a moment.

"What do you think about me?" I asked nervously. The wizard cleared his throat and hugged me.

"You're the most beautiful bride I have seen in my life," he said and kissed me.

The ceremony in the Great Hall in Unseen University, with Mustrum Ridcully being the master, was about to begin before noon. So Rincewind and I wanted to be there in time. The wizard adjusted his hat and smoothed his coat while I sat down on the Luggage to keep my dress as clean as possible.

When we entered the Great Hall, a lot of people were there already. We were given a big hello.

Mustrum Ridcully was standing next to the huge fireplace. Esmeralda Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg were flanking the Archchancellor who opened his arms to greet us.

"There you are!" He smiled broadly. I arose from the Luggage and smoothed my dress. Rincewind adjusted his clothes once again. I bent down and touched the chest's lid.

"Thank you, Luggage," I said, "Go have some fun, okay?"

"I hope it won't get too used to so much kindness," Rincewind said, smiling a bit forbearing, "But it seems to like you."

"Do you think?"

"Well, it never bit you. That's saying a lot about this damned thing." He offered his arm to me and led me towards the Archchancellor.

Mustrum Ridcully looked me up and down and gave me a broad, benevolent smile.

"Miss Barbara, I do declare," he said, grabbing my shoulders, "You look like..." When he realized he was at loss for words, he looked at the other faculty members.

"What's the word I'm looking for?" he asked.

"Impressive?" suggested the Senior Wrangler.

"Exciting?" said the Dean helpfully.

"Indescribable?" contributed Ponder Stibbons.

"Ook?" said the Librarian. Frowning, I looked at Rincewind who translated, "He says you're looking like a very nice female creature to him."

"All in this one syllable?" I wondered.

"The Librarian is a very conceive thinker, Dear," Rincewind explained, smiling a little, "You know, he can express more in one sound and one gesture than a politician in a whole speech."

"Thank you, Gentlemen," I smiled.

Nanny Ogg and Esmeralda Weatherwax came near, dressed suitable as well. Nanny Ogg wore a new-looking black dress. Esmeralda Weatherwax had chosen a long dark blue skirt and a dark red blouse. If she wouldn't have worn her hat, she would have looked like a common elder lady. While Nanny Ogg marvelled at my dress, the taller witch just smiled at me.

"Thank you so very much, Ladies," I said, "You're looking very nice today."

"You're making a nice couple, both of you," said Nanny Ogg and eyed Rincewind who blushed slightly.

YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT, MRS OGG," another voice piped in, "THEY'RE REALLY MAKING A NICE COUPLE." Death had joined us being unnoticed. He looked at us with his empty sockets. I looked at Rincewind and was surprised. Just like me, he was giving Death a friendly smile.

"I'm glad you made it," I said.

"I AM GLAD TO BE RESPONSIVE TO YOUR PLEAS," the Grim Reaper said, giving us a polite nod.

Somebody tucked Rincewind's sleeve. It was a short man with a couple of metal-rimmed glasses and short coal-black hair.

"Rincewind!" he exclaimed and shook the wizard's hand warmly, "It's so nice to see you again!"

"I'm happy, too," the wizard said and took my hand, "Barbara, meet Twoflower. Twoflower, meet my fiancée Barbara."

"I'm very pleased to meet you." Twoflower shook my hand right smart before he introduced me to two very pretty and very young women by his side. The two girls were dressed in long silk dresses.

"Meet my daughters Pretty Butterfly and Lotus Blossom," he said. Lotus Blossom seemed to be about twenty years old. She had a rather delicate figure and looked very similar to her father. Her long black hair fell down to her waist. Pretty Butterfly, the elder and quite more serious sister, seemed to be at least three years her senior. She stood a bit taller than Lotus Blossom and had her hair put in a big topknot.

The next one I met was Bill Rincewind. The cousin of my husband to-be was tall as well but a bit heavier. He wore a short, grey beard and some wrinkles in his face. The only commonness between the two cousins was the same bright blue colour of the eyes.

Bill turned out to be polite and communicative. He told me about being the Archchancellor of Buggerup University and asked about similarities and differences between Roundworld and Discworld.

"Very well, then!" Mustrum Ridcully bellowed, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I think it's time to begin." The hubbub died away, and Rincewind and I took our places in front of the Archchancellor. The Senior Wrangler and a quite aflutter Ponder Stibbons were standing on the right side of Rincewind. Next to me, Lord Havelock Vetinari and Death were standing, looking all calm and serene.

Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully took a deep breath and started his speech. First he talked about many things which were not about marriage and stuff, and then he asked the questions.

"Rincewind, do you take Miss Barbara to be your lawful wedded wife?" Will you love, respect and honour her throughout your years together?" asked the Archchancellor.

"I do," Rincewind said, his voice higher than usually with excitement. He cleared his throat and repeated, "I do and I will."

"Miss Barbara, do you take Rincewind to be your lawful wedded husband? Will you love, respect and honour him throughout your years together?" The Archchancellor looked at me.

"I do and I will," I said.

The Senior Wrangler handed the rings to Rincewind. After we had exchanged the wedding rings and had kissed each other, the wizard and I were legally married.

Old Tom was striking 3 o'clock in the morning when I hitched up my skirt and sat down onto the Luggage again. I put my arms around my husband and rested his head on my shoulder. The wizard's face showed a kind of woozy smile. He had been into the wine very deeply. In other words, he was as drunk as a newt.

I was glad myself to sit again. My feet ached from dancing. The wine made my head spin.

"Could you take us home, please?" I felt the chest getting up and marching ahead unsteadily. It seemed to have caught several mugs of wine and beer, too. The Luggage walked slowly and unsteady and had great trouble with going in a straight line.

The steps of the Luggage reminded me of an elephant's walk. When I had been 10 or 11 years old, I had ridden an elephant's back once and was remembering it as an unpleasant event.

"Don't be hasty, okay?" I murmured, touching the lid, "There's no need to hurry at all. So do take your time, okay?"

When we reached home, I tucked my husband in while the Luggage staggered into a corner and hit the floor.

Rincewind opened his eyes when I took off his boots and socks, his robe and his hat. He looked around in the room before his unsteady gaze fell upon me.

"Barbra?" he mumbled.

"Yes, Dear?"

"I... Ilovyu..." the wizard murmured, giving me a scatterbrained smile. A second later, he started snoring.

"I love you, too," I whispered, kissed his cheeks and lied down as well. I could hear an equal sawing sound from the place where the Luggage sat. The sound mixed up with the snoring of my husband.

I was lying awake for a couple of moments, thinking about the people I had met on my wedding and the short moment I had talked with Death. He had told me that Rincewind's mother indeed had passed shortly after I had met her.

It had been a wonderful party. I was a bit sorry that my friends and family had missed it. But I could write them and tell them everything about it.

Finally, I fell asleep myself, and a blessed peace spread within our little house.

When I awoke again, noon had risen. Rincewind was still fast asleep. He was lying on his belly and had rested his head on his left arm. The other hand was lying on my shoulder.

Carefully, I pushed him aside and arose. My head was throbbing slightly.

So I have been easy on the drinking, I thought. And whether I might not, who cares? It's my wedding day after all!

I looked at Rincewind turning around again, drawing a deep breath and sleeping on before I went into the bathroom to brush my hair up. Being wide awake, I lit a fire in the kitchen oven to make some tea and food as well as in the cellar stove to heat up the house. I poured me a cup of tea and took some of our clothes from the wardrobe to do some needlework.

After I had finished the laundry I went through my supplies. Most of the food I had put into the Luggage. So I woke it up carefully.

"Excuse me, but I need the food from the party, if you don't mind," I said. The Luggage gave me an annoyed look before it yawned heartily, showing its big white teeth. It opened its lid to let me pick up a few baskets.

"Thank you, Luggage." I touched the lid and was glad that the Luggage had decided to respect me by now. Yet the thought that there was another person than Rincewind now seemed to be hard to cope for the chest.

I put the rest of the wedding cake into the refrigerator, some chicken and steak, a bowl of milknuts, a bowl of pudding and many other things. The mattress of our bed creaked once followed by a moaning and a very unsteady "Whg d'hl der...". There was another creaking of the mattress as Rincewind straightened up.

I came towards the bed and sat down on the edge. The wizard blinked and touched his head very carefully.

"Hello, Dear," I whispered. Rincewind yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Hello, Dear," he replied before he moaned again and put his head into his hands.

"Is it very bad?" I asked.

"I had much worse hangovers before," Rincewind said, shaking his head with caution, "I just wish I could remember any of them."

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Love to." My husband laid back onto the pillow. I poured him a cup of tea with lots of sugar and watched him pulling himself upright to drink. After a few sips, his gaze cleared up. He sighed and started to smooth his ruffled hair a bit.

I put the steaks into a pan and started mashing the potatoes. Every now and then, I added butter and herbs to the mash.

When I glanced up, I saw Rincewind watching me. He was smiling. I couldn't help smiling back. Rincewind put the cup next to the bed.

"Could you come to me for a moment?" he asked. I put the pot aside and went towards the bed.

"What is it?"

"I remember I forgot something," the wizard said quietly, "I didn't kiss you yet." His hand crept up my arm when he pulled me closer and kissed my mouth and the tip of my nose. I hugged him and returned the kisses.

"And I didn't tell you how much I love you," Rincewind continued. Technically, that wasn't true. He had said so when I had tucked him in. But I didn't mind. After all, he hadn't heard my reply, too.

"I love you, too," I said, "I love you with all of my heart." I kissed him back before I went back into the kitchen. Rincewind took his cup, emptied it and followed me. He put his cup into the sink and sat down at the kitchen table.

While we were having dinner, the Luggage awoke. I put a small plate underneath the table for the chest which came closer to eat. I heard it chewing before it uttered a long belch.

"Will you behave yourself!" Rincewind ordered. The Luggage creaked. When I looked I noticed the lid had opened. There was a big bag inside of the chest.

"What's that?" I pointed. Rincewind looked and gave me a grin.

"Twoflower gave me this," he explained, "He said it would be hard to settle down. So he wanted to help us." He took out the bag and opened it.

I hardly believed my eyes. The bag contained golden coins of different sizes. The smallest ones had a nominal diameter of about 1 inch. The biggest one was as big as my palm.

"Gosh! Is this all real gold?" I wondered. Rincewind nodded and explained that gold meant a lot less in the Agatean Empire than here in Ankh-Morpork; over there, gold was as cheap as lead was here.

"What shall we do with so much money?" I wondered, surprised by my own words. On Roundworld, I would run to buy things as soon I would have more money than usual. I was amazed how things could change.

"I don't know," the wizard said and shrugged, "We can hide it somewhere here in the house for now. Maybe we can find a better solution."

"That's a good idea. But where to hide it?" I asked when the Luggage uttered a creaking and opened its lid again.

"I think the Luggage could look after it," I said, "I can't think of a better safe." Rincewind gave this a thought and nodded.

Due to the fact that we were still tired from the party, this first day as a married couple was a calm one. When we were lying in bed again and eating milknuts, I felt good.

I was married now. And I was married to a man who loved me the way I was. To be honest, I hadn't been positive about finding both.

"Are you happy, Dear?" whispered Rincewind. I snuggled close to him, caressed his belly and nodded.

My life hadn't been always nice to me. Some moments I would call even "cruel" and "unfair" in some times. And a very few moments had been "pleasant" to me.

But here and now, lying in Rincewind's arm and looking at the golden and silver ring on my right hand, this was a moment to call nothing but "divine".


	7. Alterations

Basically, being Rincewind's wife didn't change my life. I just noticed that the people of Ankh-Morpork started calling me "Roundworld-Madam" now. The only exception was Corporal Nobby Nobbs. Despite of my marriage, I was still a "Miss" to the small watchman.

My job didn't change, either. After a couple of days, William de Worde decided to give me a raise, and Rincewind surprised me with the message that Ridcully had decided to pay him, too. My husband didn't get much money but the Archchancellor had said that he had to care of me as well now. Besides, Rincewind was allowed now to take home some of the coal he was getting for his study.

We were happy for almost one month before another change was dawning. In the end of Sektober, which meant October on Discworld, the weather became much sunnier than usually, contrary to expectations.

Then, in one day of slight discomfort to me, the heat culminated in leaden sultriness, followed by a hot and kind of sticky night.

My husband and I tried to fall asleep but we failed completely.

"Ye gods, I can't stand this heat!" Rincewind moaned, pushing the blanket off, "I feel like melting!" He straightened up and wiped his forehead.

"Maybe we can get some rest with a cold drink," he said. I nodded and went for the fridge. I had made a pot of tea in the morning and had let it cool down during the day until I had put it into the fridge. I poured two glasses of it and added some of the ice cubes.

The cool drink made the wizard feel a lot better. He made himself comfortable on the kitchen bench and took a deep breath. I only sipped my drink. It concerned me that the discomfort wasn't completely gone yet.

"That's much better, don't you think?" my husband sighed and closed his eyes halfway. I uttered an agreeing sound. The wizard looked at me and frowned a bit.

"Is something wrong with you, Dear?" he asked, "You haven't said a dozen words tonight."

"I'm not sure," I said, "I don't do very well today."

"Did you throw up yet?" Rincewind looked worried. I shook my head.

"But you did eat enough, I do hope?"

"Yes, yes, I did."

Rincewind gave me a glance I hadn't seen in a long time. I had seen it a lot in the past, especially when the wizard had spent a good and pleasant moment with me. In secret, he was picturing the worst consequences already.

"Don't worry," I tried to soothe him, "I don't think it's something terrible."

Rincewind drank from his glass. I could almost hear him thinking.

"I want you to see a doctor tomorrow," he finally said. I looked at him in astonishment.

"I don't think it's that bad. That's nothing but a little bit of nausea," I said.

"Nevertheless," my husband insisted, "You haven't felt like this for a long time, and I want to make sure that everything is alright with you."

My relationship with medics hadn't been a good one so far. Mostly, they detected things I didn't want to know. So I hesitated. Rincewind took my hand and caressed it tenderly.

"Please," he said quietly, "Please do it for my sake."

"Alright, I'll do it," I agreed, knowing I couldn't beat that argument.

"Thank you, Dear," Rincewind smiled. He took me in his arms and kissed my temple and my cheek. Just in this moment, a flash of lighting ripped the night, followed by a loud thunderclap which made me wince hard.

"That's just a thunderstorm," whispered my husband, "Don't worry. I'll take care of you."

Suspiciously, I looked out of the window to see the first drops of rain coming down. The air was becoming chillier. I put my head against Rincewind's chest and closed my eyes.

On the following day, the weather seemed to remember the approaching end of year. When I went home, I hardly felt the cold wind or the rain as thoughts were whirling around in my head, colliding like billiard balls.

I had used my lunchtime break to go to a doctor. He had taken some blood from me and had checked my body. It hadn't taken long to find out the reason for my nausea.

I was to be in the family way, and I wasn't sure whether to be glad or not.

From one perspective, I didn't know if I would be a good mother. I didn't feel mature enough. But considered differently, there was also the fact that I might bear a wizard's son. The danger of a wizard in love wasn't the love itself but the sons resulting from it. The eighth son of an eighth son of a wizard would be a born wizard, his sons would be powerful wizards by birth, and his eighth son would be a sourcerer, a wizard squared and a source of magic himself. Those were the facts I had read about and Rincewind and Death had mentioned.

I opened the door and wondered how to tell my husband about my pregnancy. But I didn't get a change to start.

Rincewind was walking across our little house with long steps, murmuring excitedly under his breathe. I could hear him saying things like "Oh bugger!" and "I knew it!" and "Ha!" every now and then. An unpleasant guess crossed my mind.

Rincewind spotted me, hurried towards me and hugged me tight. I felt his hands shaking which was almost never a good sign. So I forgot about my pregnancy. There seemed to be a real catastrophe going on.

"What happened, Dear?" I asked. Rincewind drew a deep breathe before he sighed and started reporting. My eyes were widening while I was listening.

Mustrum Ridcully had called my husband into his office and had told him about a new mission Rincewind had to attend to. There were things in disorder on the Counterweight Continent. And being Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, it was Rincewind's duty to look after this, the Archchancellor had said.

Of course, Rincewind had protested. But then, the Archchancellor had used his trump card: he had threatened my husband to ban him from Unseen University in the case of disobedience.

Apart from me, wizardry was the most important thing in Rincewind's life. He had told me once that he wouldn't dare to risk his position in the faculty. So there was no way of not obeying the Archchancellor's order. Rincewind had to go.

The wizard bowed his head and sighed again. I felt trepidation rising when I had understood completely. I swallowed hard and made a decision.

"Take me with you," I said. My husband's head jerked upwards.

"What?" he whispered, looking stunned.

"If you really have to go, I want to come with you," I said. Rincewind turned pale. His jaws dropped.

"No!" he protested, shaking his head, "I can't do that! No, I can't take you with me! This... good grief... this might be dangerous! I... I can't let that happen!"

"I don't care about the danger!" I objected, feeling tears running down my face, "I promised to take care of you when we got married, and I can't stand being separated from you."

"And I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt!" was the enraged reply. Rincewind blinked and took a deep breathe.

"I mean, I couldn't forgive myself if you might get hurt," he said then, "Please... I mean... you're the first woman who was always nice to me, you see. You took me serious, and you never laughed at me." He took a deep breathe. I could see his lips trembling.

"I made a promise as well at our wedding," he almost whispered, "I promised to protect you from any harm. I... I... I couldn't stand if... "

He couldn't finish the sentence. A tear trickled down his cheek.

"I almost had lost you once," he sobbed, "Barbara, I... I... I couldn't go through this again!"

"I just don't know how..." I said, "I mean, I love you, and I don't want you to face that all alone!"

Crying, we held onto each other. After a while, Rincewind got a grip again. He took a deep breathe and wiped his eyes. I still held on to his waist while I felt the urge to cry fading.

"Do you feel better now?" I heard him whisper. I nodded and stroke his shirt. It was soaked with my tears.

I was aware that Rincewind had a great talent of surviving. He had come back from every of his adventures so far. Yet I was anxious. Suddenly, I remembered my duty as a housewife.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked. My husband looked at me in astonishment before he smiled and shook his head. He caressed my face and kissed my forehead before he took my hands and lead me towards the bed. He kissed me and unbuttoned my blouse. I closed my eyes and felt the wizard's touch on my skin. Slowly, I calmed down.

I was aware that I couldn't do anything against this journey of the wizard. But he would have to go tomorrow, and tomorrow seemed to be very far now.

When the light of the new day crept into the room, the wizard and I had made love. I opened my eyes and caressed his back and neck. The wizard smiled at me and straightened up on his elbows.

I realized how much I loved him and feared this thought all the same.

"Can you promise me something?" I asked.

"What?"

"Please take good care of yourself. And please come back in one piece."

"Certainly will," the wizard said, putting his long arms around my waist, "On one condition."

"On what condition?" I wondered.

"I'd like to take a souvenir with me. One of your beautiful smiles." I tried to smile but I failed. Rincewind shook his head in disapprobation.

"Do you really call this a smile?" He gave me a disbelieving glance.

"You must be kidding, Dear!" he sighed, "I think I have to help it." His fingertips move across my ribs and sides, hardly touching my skin. I tried to wriggle out of the clinch of his long arms, giggling and laughing and finally begging for mercy.

After a while, Rincewind took his hand off me. He stretched himself out, straightened up on his left elbow and rested his chin on his hand. I recovered my breath and gave him a kind of reprehensive glance.

"That was a mean one," I complained.

"I know. I'm sorry," The wizard gave me a kind of bashful grin. I kept my critical face until I couldn't help smiling.

I knew my husband enjoyed tickling me. He liked to make me laugh that way, and he liked to be superior to someone else without hurting or laying violent hands on that other person. That was quite new to the wizard because he wasn't very strong or a good fighter.

Rincewind caressed my cheek and kissed my face very tenderly. I felt Sleep overwhelming me and closed my eyes.

"I love you," I could hear the wizard whisper, "And I promise to come back in one piece."

When I woke up again, I was alone in bed. My husband seemed to have gone already, together with the Luggage. On the pillow I saw a little bag containing five gold coins and one of Rincewind's shirts.

I took the roughly woven shirt and sniffed it. The scent of my husband made me sigh. I dug my nose deep into the cloth of the shirt when I suddenly remembered something.

I had completely forgotten to tell Rincewind about my pregnancy. Now it was too late. I had to face it all alone.

It took me almost three month to stop wincing at little every sound from the door and hoping for seeing my husband stand there.

The third month ended with another stormy night and a fast-paced morning afterwards. I woke up at dawn to run into the bathroom to throw up a thin streak of liquid. I washed my face and cleaned my teeth. When I was sure I would be able to keep it inside, I ate a small slice of bread with butter and a cup of tea.

When I got dressed, I realized with surprised that I had gained some weight over night. My dress had fit properly the day before, and today it was tighter. The fourth month had started, and soon my belly would really be big. Fortunately, my work dress was cut broader so nobody would notice today. But there was no way of putting on my corset anymore. So I had to go and see a tailor.

When I came home, I carried two parcels. One contained two dresses in dark blue and dark red. They were different from my other dresses because of their waistline which was sitting right underneath the bosom. The other parcel contained three special corsets which held my bosom but wouldn't squeeze my belly.

After I had eaten supper, I looked at my new acquisitions. Then I took off my clothes and looked at my belly and smiled happily. If I should have had any doubts about the pregnancy, they were gone now. I could tell by the cut of the dresses and the little curve of my belly.

I would give birth to my first child. And somehow I was glad that things like the colour of the skin were less important on Discworld than on Roundworld. Even if my child should become a lot darker than me, he or she wouldn't be hostiled.

While my belly continued to grow, I was surprised by the Ankh-Morporkians once again with the care. Of course, the news of my pregnancy had spread in no time.

Almost every day, Cut-My-Own-Throat Dibbler called me over and handed me a couple of bags when I went to work. There were pieces of apples, pears, bananas and other fruits from the other vendors. Every day, there were undamaged pieces left from the goods they couldn't sell anymore. So they had decided to give me the pieces which were too good to throw away.

On some evenings, there was a knock at the door. Usually, it was Nobby Nobbs. Sometimes he was on his own, sometimes another watchman was with him. Mostly, he was carrying a box with some baby stuff inside from some caring citizen. Therefore, I owned a couple of baby clothes and diapers by now, a big crib with cover and pillow, several toys and a small sheet-metal trough. Nobby Nobbs asked about the whereabouts of my husband as well and promised me to look after me until Rincewind would come back.

After a while I realized that the baby had to have a place to sleep. I took a closer look at my house and saw that an addition could be made easily. There was enough room between my house and the building behind it.

I heard someone clearing his throat and turned around to face Death who was leaning on his scythe and looking me up and down.

"Hello, Death," I said, "Nice to see you. How are you?" I hadn't seen the Grim Reaper in a while.

"I AM FINE, THANK YOU. YOU SEEMED TO BE DOING GOOD AS WELL, AS I CAN SEE."

"Yes, I am. Unfortunately, I hadn't got word from Rincewind in a while."

"DON'T WORRY," the Grim Reaper said, shaking his head, "I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM A WHILE, TOO."

I was relieved. All wizards, even the failed ones, will be taken by Death himself when their time had come. If the Grim Reaper hadn't run into my husband, he was still alive.

"BESIDES, I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY," Death continued.

"I'm thinking about adding a room to my house. The baby must have an own room. Can you recommend a good craftsman?"

"THE CRAFTSMAN WHO BUILT YOUR HOUSE IS VERY GOOD," Death nodded, "WE CAN GO TO HIM RIGHT NOW, IF YOU LIKE."

"That sounds good," I agreed.

The craftsman introduced himself as Jason Balinsson. He had a stout, short figure. His helmet was near my hips. Black hair fell all down his back. A black beard fell down to his belt.

Jason Balinsson looked at Death and agreed to add a room to my house. Not to mention he agreed to take one of the gold coins.

"How long it will take?" I wondered. The dwarf looked at Death once more and said, "It might take a week or two to make it all." And as I noticed, he was true to his word.

Nobby Nobbs showed up again a few days after the craftsman had finished. This time, he was on his own and without a parcel.

"Evening, Miss," he said and gave me a smile.

"Evening, Nobby." I returned the smile and took the kettle. The small watchman put out his half-smoked cigarette and sat down.

"Would you like some tea?" I asked.

"Let me give you a hand," said Nobby, "You look a bit tired, if I may say so. Might be better to take some rest, Miss." His small eyes looked at my huge belly.

Thankful, I sat down. Nobby was right, the pregnancy was exhausting. Nobby put a cup in front of me, a loaf of bread, butter and some cheese.

While we were having supper, the small watchman told me about the news in town. This time, I was really sure about hearing news. Nobby was always one of the first persons to hear, mostly because he belonged to the City Watch.

"Oh, by the way, I was told to give you a hello," he said when he left.

"Who told you so?" I wondered.

"Nanny Ogg did. She'll come over herself in a few days, she says." The watchman touched his helmet and disappeared into the night.

The Lancre Witch dropped by during the next day. Greebo looked me over and allowed me to give him a bowl of milk. Nanny Ogg hugged me before she looked me over carefully.

"This seems to be almost time for the bearing," she said. I nodded and served tea and cake.

"And they seem to be in well condition," she continued while she poured herself some tea and added sugar.

"Are you talking about twin babies here?" I wondered, frowning a bit. The witch nodded.

"Do you know if... I mean..." I looked at her. Nanny Ogg shook her head.

"I don't know if you'll have sons or not," she said. I looked crestfallen at this.

"Give me your hand," Nanny Ogg said, "I'm not as good as Esme with those things. But maybe I can see something."

The witch took my right hand and studied the palm. She touched the hand everywhere, looked at the fingernails and the wrist, splayed the fingers and peered between every pair.

"I don't think you'll have to worry," she finally said, "There's no sign of it."

The witch and her tomcat left with the sunset. If I might need her, she said she would be in the house of the Seamstresses' Guild.

"How long will you be here in Ankh-Morpork?" I asked. The Lancre Witch smiled at me.

"Witches don't live on schedule, you know. Right now, I don't have to meet my deadlines," she said, "And besides, I haven't been in Ankh-Morpork for a while."

June started with sunshine. Due to the fact that I didn't have to work, the remaining months had past in no time. Nanny Ogg had convinced William de Worde to release me from work until I had given birth and could work careless again.

In the evening hour, I noticed a dove sitting on the windowsill. It was wearing a small head-collar and a small saddle. A small figure wearing a tiny helmet was sitting on the dove. It had a badge of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch tied onto his back. The tiny figure slid off the dove when it noticed me watching it.

"Good Day," a squeaky voice said.

"Good Day," I replied in puzzlement, "And whom do I have the pleasure with?"

"Corporal Buggy Swires reports for duty," the tiny man introduced himself, saluting at me. Carefully, I extended my index finger. The Corporal shook it right smart.

"Pleased to meet you," I said, "Would you like to have a drink? Maybe a cup of tea or something else?"

"No, thank you, I'm on duty right now," the tiny watchman replied. He frowned and squared his shoulders.

"What is it?" he said, "Haven't you seen a gnome before?"

"I'm sorry," I said, noticing I was still eyeing him in astonishment, "I didn't mean to stare at you. But you're really the first gnome I meet."

"Nobby Nobbs told me to look after you every now and then," the gnome said, "If you should need something."

"That's very kind of you. Please tell him I sent my regards." I looked at the pigeon.

"Is this yours?" I asked.

"This one and some other birds," the Corporal agreed.

"Has it got a name?"

"No," the gnome said before he went towards the bird and climbed onto the saddle.

"I'll look after you once in a while," he said, touched his helmet, drew the reins and took to the skies.

As Nanny Ogg came to have supper every evening, I took much care of the cooking. The Lancre Witch was an experienced cook. So I was anxious to hear her opinion.

Nanny Ogg told me some anecdotes about her own 15 children and their grandchildren. Every now and then, she felt my belly, and according to the witch's words, everything went according to plan.

And then, on a sunny yet cool Monday at the end of June, my child was born. I had decided to change the bed linens when I felt some liquid running down my leg. Puzzled, I looked down onto the liquid before I realized it was my amniotic liquor.

Pain struck my belly so hard I had to sit down. When the pain had stopped, I went towards the window and looked up to the sky. Several birds were cruising up there, and I hoped that Buddy Swires was among them.

I waved a white piece of cloth and hoped that someone would notice it. Luck was on my side: Buddy Swires landed on the windowsill.

"Please... Nanny Ogg... now..." That was all I could say before the next wave of pain struck me. The Corporal nodded and flew away.

I went back to the bed and sat down. The intervals were becoming shorter and shorter, and I hoped that I would be able to cope it until Nanny Ogg would be here.

When the witch came, she didn't say much. She searched my wardrobe for clean sheets, heated water and felt my belly. She gave me a long look and a ball of cloth I recognized as my husbands shirt. Then her gaze fell upon Buddy Swires.

"I think you can go now!" she said in a stern voice. The gnome nodded.

The labour pains were coming to a highpoint. Nanny Ogg put a small piece of ice in my mouth. I gave her a desperate look and murmured, "I don't know if..."

"Don't you dare!" the witch interrupted. She stood there with her hands on her hips and gave me a rather angry look.

"You have been able to face all kinds of difficulties, and I tell you that you will see this through," she said, "You're a strong and very brave woman. I have seen a lot of labour and birth, Miss Barbara, and I have seen a lot of things. I know that you have all the strength you need."

I took another deep breathe and closed my eyes. The only things I really could feel was Rincewind's shirt and Nanny Ogg's voice. Sweat was running down my face but I kept my eyes closed. Only once, when a really strong wave of labour pains hit me, I came close to a scream. But I didn't. I didn't have the strength to scream.

Suddenly, the strongest wave made me jump and jerk forward a bit and made me utter a little shrieking sound. A few seconds later I heard another sound: the crying of a baby.

I wiped my forehead with trembling hands and even managed to smile when I asked, "Is my child alright?" But before the witch could answer me, the next labour pain announced the second baby. However, this time the labour didn't take that long.

"Everything is alright, Roundworld-Madam. You have given birth to two girls as fit at a fiddle." Nanny Ogg sounded as serene as always when she handed me two little bundles wrapped in white cloth.

A few fine strands of hair covered the little round head of the left bundle, and the small fragile body had a colour of bronze, slightly lighter than my own skin.

The right bundle's skin was white and delicate like porcelain. The peach fuzz on top of the head was bright auburn.

"Two girls?" I whispered. The witch nodded, "Didn't I tell you that you wouldn't need to worry? The darker one was first."

"My first girl," I said, caressing the baby's head, "She looks like me." Nanny Ogg nodded and put the baby into the crib.

"My second girl," I said to the light-skinned girl, "She is really a chip off the old block." The witch nodded again, took the other baby and put it into the crib as well. Then she came to me and smoothed my blanket.

"Take some rest," she said, "I'll take care of your babies."

"I'm way to excited to sleep," I said. But my eyes belied me at once when I fell asleep a short time later.

During the next days Nanny Ogg stayed to keep an eye on me and the girls. I allowed myself to stay in bed for one day before I started to fulfil my duty as a mother.

Among other things, I had to find names for my daughters. I remembered an African language I had heard once on Roundworld. This language gave special names to twin girls. The first twin was named Taiwo which meant "life-tasting twin". The second twin was named Kehinde which meant "following twin". These I thought to be suitable names for my daughters.

When I got up to get dressed, Nanny Ogg gave me a hand. I was startled when I realized that I couldn't close my corset as tight as before. I had gained weight from the pregnancy.

Nanny Ogg kept a jealous watch over me to see if I could handle everything. When she was convince that I was doing alright, she and Greebo went back to Lancre.

During the following days, I tried my best to handle the housekeeping and the caring of the two girls. But it was hard and tiring for me. So I went to bed very early on the third day.

It was the middle of the night when I awoke again. The candle I had lit had burned down to a little stud. Its light showed me my little girls sleeping peacefully. I arose to smooth their blanket and wanted to change for bed when I heard a quiet sound from the door.

I opened the door a crack and peered into the dark. Didn't something move back there? I opened the door a bit wider and lifted the candle to see more.

Steps were coming closer. I could see a very skinny, very tall and very human figure approaching. So this couldn't be Buddy Swires.

Given the height of the figure, I was thinking of Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson or Commander Samuel Vimes when I noticed that the figure was too skinny. I was thinking of Nobby Nobbs as well but the figure was way too tall. So it had to be someone else.

I thought it might be Death when the figure came close to the door and I noticed a hat sitting on its head. Once, this hat might have been pointy. But now the tip was snapped off and hung at the hat's side.

The candlestick holder slipped from my trembling hands. I clasped my hands over my mouth and widened my eyes.

Rincewind moved into the light of the candle, picked up the holder and kept it in one hand. The wizard's clothes were nothing but rags and tatters. The trousers and the cloak were torn heavily. The coat was shredded up to the waist, and one of his boots was missing.

I looked upwards and noticed that my husband's hair had grown. It hung in untidy strands down to his shoulders. The beard had grown as well and hung down to his collar.

I heard a whining sound before I noticed it had been my own. I felt the sting of tears when I reached out for my husband and scarcely audible whispered his name. The wizard stepped up to me, put the candle aside and hugged me wordlessly. His emaciated body was trembling. I closed my eyes and allowed free rein to my tears.

On Roundworld it had been one of my hobbies to watch TV. My favourites had been pre-1900 western movies like "Gone with the Wind". Most of these movies had shown women who were separated from their lovers or husbands on cause of war or similar. When they had been reunited after a long time, the women had cried their hearts out.

Sometimes I had wondered what these women might have thought and felt when they had seen their loved ones again.

Now I knew.

When the first rays of sun crept into our house, my husband was feeling a lot better. He was sitting next to me at the kitchen table, smiling happily.

A big part of his happiness came from the fact that he was clean again. When I had managed to let go of Rincewind, I had poured him a bath, had scrubbed his back and had washed and trimmed his hair and beard carefully.

Another big part of his cheerfulness came from the fact that he was full. Before I had put my husband into the tub, I had put a big pot of potatoes on the stove. Later I had melted butter and cut bacon in small bits. This was a meal both of us were very fond of.

Finally, his good mood came from the fact that I had born him two daughters. This was a circumstance the wizard was very happy with.

"We really have two daughters?" he asked for the third time. I nodded, "Yes, we have two beautiful healthy daughters. I have named them Taiwo and Kehinde."

"What's the meaning of those names?" Rincewind asked and watched me nursing Taiwo. I told him about the language and explained the meaning to him. My husband nodded, "They're pretty names."

"They really are." I said.

"And which one is that?" he asked.

"This is Taiwo, our first born girl."

Rincewind gave the little girl a curious and tender glance. When the little baby was fed and had burped, he asked, "Do you mind if I'll take her once?"

I nodded and put the little girl carefully into his arms.

"Put the head on your elbow," I advised him and got up to take up Kehinde and feed her, too.

Silently, my husband was looking at the baby in his arms before he sighed.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"She's so tiny," my husband said quietly, "I still can't believe that she... and her sister, I mean... that those two girls are really my children."

I gave Rincewind a smile which the wizard returned. He bent towards me and kissed my mouth.

"Taiwo is really beautiful," he said and uttered a small laugh, "Well, that's really no surprise for me."

"Why?"

"Because she is looking like you," the wizard said smiling, "And you're the most beautiful thing to me."

"Thank you."

"Kehinde is pretty, too," my husband said after a short silence, "But I hope she won't be too much like me."

"I'm sure she'll inherit only your best characteristics," I said smiling. Rincewind nodded and yawned suddenly.

"We should go to bed," he suggested.

"Go ahead," I said, getting tired as well, "I'll tuck the babies in bed." Rincewind gave me a thankful grin when he went towards the bed and started undressing himself.

I put our daughters into their crib and watch them yawning and closing their eyes. Steps were coming closer. I turned to see the Luggage standing there. The chest rose up on its tiptoes and peered into the crib.

"Hello, Luggage," I said and touched the lid, "Meet Taiwo and Kehinde, our daughters. They are part of our family now as well."

The chest turned to face me. The look from its lock was thoughtfully. Then it sat down next to the crib as if to watch it. I carefully caressed my daughters and went to lie down myself.

The wizard was already asleep. When I crept under the blanket, he lifted up his head once and snuggled close to me. Carefully, I put an arm under his neck and kissed him on the forehead. Without opening his eyes, the wizard put his arms around my waist, put his nose tight against my neck and was asleep again.

It took me a few minutes to fall asleep. After a long while I enjoyed having him close to me. I kissed his forehead once again before I entered never-never land myself.


End file.
